Post by Ribs, Suthers' Pal on Jan 14, 2016 16:39:06 GMT
On the verge of being sacrificed, Sarah Jane began to think she might not make it out of this one.
Professor Hall, strapped to the cross next to hers, atop the active Volcano, similarly began to worry.
“It’s alright, Sarah, we’ll make it out of this, we always do.”
“Professor, now is not the time for your trademark witticisms! I am very concerned as to both my safety, as well as yours.” Sarah said.
The diabolical followers of the Temple God Xia-Lan danced their merry jig around the duo. The leader, the Baron Mortdecai, approached the two with his blade, humming a chant.
“Please, sir, do not sacrifice us! We did not mean to eat the forbidden apricots! The head of our expedition simply misunderstood-”
“Quiet, puny man!” The Baron commanded. “You will both be killed and thrust into the fiery pit, as has been foretold.”
“The prophecy!” Sarah Jane realized.
“Yes, of course, the prophecy!” Said Professor Hall as he began to recall.
As Doctor Who landed his time and space ship, the Reverend Lindsay asked the details of their newfound destination.
“We’re on your native Earth, my dear boy!” Doctor Who explained. “Some time, trapped in the distant past…”
“Always the theatric.” Professor Hall commented back. “Not everything spells certain doom all of the time.”
“Oh, but it does – at least, now that we’ve entered this version of reality-” Doctor Who then began spouting off some degree of nonsense about causality or entropy or similar morose subjects, but Sarah and the Reverend were paying attention to the scanner.
“Oh dear, we’re in ancient Central America! Hope we don’t get sacrificed or something, that’d be awfully passe.” The Reverend commented as Doctor Who began shifting to meta-textual theory no one asked for.
“It’s quite alright, the TARDIS translation circuits should prevent any cultural differences causing trouble between our vastly different cultures.” Sarah explained.
“Ah yes, quite all right.” The Reverend then walked outside of the TARDIS, towards the watering hole, filling up his canteen. Professor Hall followed him and noticed the ominous volcano in the distance. A small group of children were dancing and flying kites atop the mountain. The duo traversed the mountain and engaged with the children, trading basic supplies such as minerals and produce. They came back down the mountain, reconvening with Dr. Who and Sarah Jane, who had prepared stew for dinner.
“Reverend, I’m pleased as punch to see you!” Doctor Who said upon seeing his friend emerge from the mountain pass. “You always turn my frown upside down.”
“Do stop flirting.” Professor Hall joked, to no one’s amusement, as, at least for the moment, the gang had overall had enough of the good Professor’s shit.
The Reverend entered into the TARDIS to retrieve his bowl from the kitchen cupboards.
“Can I get you all anything, while I’m heading in?”
“Yes, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d adore a glass of port.” Doctor Who implored.
“Sherry for me!” Sarah Jane chimed in.
“Ain’t that a surprise.” Professor Hall added, eliciting a shocked look and a frown from his fellow travelling partners. “You know you love it.”
“I absolutely do n-” Dr. Who began, before his fucking head exploded after being shot with a high-caliber laser rifle.
“Oh no!” Sarah said, albeit in less savory terms.
From the brush emerged Detective Peachy Keen, a private investigator.
“You!” Professor Hall remarked, thinking back earlier. “Of course!”
The whirring and groaning of the TARDIS engines roared with more aplomb and verve than usual as they landed at the street corner.
“Alright, fellows,” Doctor Who began. “We’ve got to solve this murder.”
“Righty-O, hot stuff!” remarked JJ Cool as he threw his amazing multicolored scarf over his neck and began to boogie out the door, eliciting scoffs from the Reverend, the Professor, and Sarah.
As they stepped outside, a stray hound wandered towards the time and space ship and began barking at the group. Doctor Who kneeled down to the animal, and began interrogating it.
“I’m here to solve a murder.” Doctor Who explained, “one of someone very close to me.”
The dog barked back its response. Dr. Who gestured to his friends to follow him down the street.
“New York during prohibition.” Professor Hall observed, “dearie me, what a sight.”
“Tight!” JJ Cool grooved on ahead of the group.
Eventually, the team found themselves at a mid-size office building somewhere uptown.
“Thank you, boy.” Doctor Who gave the hound a treat from his pocket, and then proceeded to kick the door open.
“Keen!” He roared. “I’m coming for you!”
Inside, behind a desk, Detective Peachy Keen was trying to get a bag of candy open without the aid of his beloved scissors. He rose from his desk, then in vain tried to rush to and lock the door of his office so as to prevent his old friend from seeing him that day. Unfortunately, the door opened in front of him, and the travelling companions Doctor Who, Sarah Jane, Professor Hall, Reverend Lindsay, and JJ Cool entered.
“Hello, old bean,” Doctor Who began to explain, “these are my friends, Sarah Jane, Professor Hall, Reverend Lindsay, and JJ Cool.”
“It is nice to meet you, Sarah Jane, Professor Hall, Reverend Lindsay, and JJ Cool.” Keen muttered. “What do you want from me?”
“I want you to kill a man for me.” Doctor Who cackled, “me.”
“Do you mean the immortal being, Me, from viking times?”
“No. I want you to come and find me and shoot me with this rifle.” He placed the weapon on Keen’s desk.
The phone suddenly rang.
“It’s for me.” Doctor Who said. He picked up the receiver and held it to his face.
“Who.” He coolly answered.
A voice on the other end of the line said something ominous. Professor Hall, looking on, realized what was happening.
“It’s started.” He began to reminisce.
The Brigadier burst into Professor Hall’s laboratory, not realizing what he was about to see.
“Good god! Do show some respect for yourselves!” JJ Cool and Professor Hall had been having an intimate moment, and did not expect to encounter their boss that day. “I thought you two were preparing to go on an adventure with Doctor Who, along with the Reverend and Ms. Smith.”
“And just what do you think we do in the spaceship, huh, armyman?”
“Mr. Cool, I will not tolerate any more insubordination.”
The TARDIS then materialized around them, as they suddenly were cast into the main, wooden control room, accompanied by Dr. Who, Sarah Jane, Reverend Lindsay, and Sgt. Benton.
“New look. I can dig it!” JJ Cool observed.
“I accidentally changed the theme.” Sgt. Benton coyly admitted, everyone knowing full well his complete inability to ever do anything right.
“What are we doing?” Reverend Lindsay asked.
“Going to save time itself.” Doctor Who answered, walking over to the payphone to make a call. He put in his spare change, and dialed the number.
“Yes, hello, this is you, I’m just making sure our plan is good.” Doctor Who said, playing with a yoyo. “Great, darling, I’ll see you in a jiff.”
“I’m sorry, Doctor, but what the fuck is happening?” Professor Hall finally asked. “I’m just realizing now that I’m just remembering everything that’s happened in our past few adventures and none of it makes any sense.”
“It’s your memories, how the fuck would I know?” Doctor Who replied. “I’m faking my death, you imbecile.”
“Oh, right.” Professor Hall quieted down, before raising a concern. “Why?”
“I just do it every once in a while, you know, freak people out, get people to tune in after Strictly, whatever.”
Professor Hall laughed at this josh.
Recalling this, Professor Hall laughed at that jape.
Recalling that, Professor Hall laughed at that joke.
Recalling that, Professor Hall smiled.
The Baron Mortdecai then slit his throat open and repeatedly stabbed him before throwing him into the volcano, the Professor screaming in pain.
Sarah screamed, before a familiar wheezing, groaning noise sounded, and she found herself in the trusty TARDIS once again.
“Why couldn’t you do anything, Doctor?” Sarah asked, tears in her eyes.
Doctor Who looked at her with sad eyes. “It was too many variables, I didn’t account for you all. I was bound to lose track of one of you.”
“But what about JJ?” Sarah asked.
“He’s asleep, inside, in their room.” He gestured inside. “We’re going to get Chinese food and talk out our problems, now.”
And, in the TARDIS that Christmas morning, Sgt. Benton, the Brigadier, Sarah Jane, Reverend Lindsay, the widower JJ Cool, and most of all, Doctor Who, began to understand what had happened, even if the audience couldn’t.
Professor Hall, strapped to the cross next to hers, atop the active Volcano, similarly began to worry.
“It’s alright, Sarah, we’ll make it out of this, we always do.”
“Professor, now is not the time for your trademark witticisms! I am very concerned as to both my safety, as well as yours.” Sarah said.
The diabolical followers of the Temple God Xia-Lan danced their merry jig around the duo. The leader, the Baron Mortdecai, approached the two with his blade, humming a chant.
“Please, sir, do not sacrifice us! We did not mean to eat the forbidden apricots! The head of our expedition simply misunderstood-”
“Quiet, puny man!” The Baron commanded. “You will both be killed and thrust into the fiery pit, as has been foretold.”
“The prophecy!” Sarah Jane realized.
“Yes, of course, the prophecy!” Said Professor Hall as he began to recall.
As Doctor Who landed his time and space ship, the Reverend Lindsay asked the details of their newfound destination.
“We’re on your native Earth, my dear boy!” Doctor Who explained. “Some time, trapped in the distant past…”
“Always the theatric.” Professor Hall commented back. “Not everything spells certain doom all of the time.”
“Oh, but it does – at least, now that we’ve entered this version of reality-” Doctor Who then began spouting off some degree of nonsense about causality or entropy or similar morose subjects, but Sarah and the Reverend were paying attention to the scanner.
“Oh dear, we’re in ancient Central America! Hope we don’t get sacrificed or something, that’d be awfully passe.” The Reverend commented as Doctor Who began shifting to meta-textual theory no one asked for.
“It’s quite alright, the TARDIS translation circuits should prevent any cultural differences causing trouble between our vastly different cultures.” Sarah explained.
“Ah yes, quite all right.” The Reverend then walked outside of the TARDIS, towards the watering hole, filling up his canteen. Professor Hall followed him and noticed the ominous volcano in the distance. A small group of children were dancing and flying kites atop the mountain. The duo traversed the mountain and engaged with the children, trading basic supplies such as minerals and produce. They came back down the mountain, reconvening with Dr. Who and Sarah Jane, who had prepared stew for dinner.
“Reverend, I’m pleased as punch to see you!” Doctor Who said upon seeing his friend emerge from the mountain pass. “You always turn my frown upside down.”
“Do stop flirting.” Professor Hall joked, to no one’s amusement, as, at least for the moment, the gang had overall had enough of the good Professor’s shit.
The Reverend entered into the TARDIS to retrieve his bowl from the kitchen cupboards.
“Can I get you all anything, while I’m heading in?”
“Yes, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d adore a glass of port.” Doctor Who implored.
“Sherry for me!” Sarah Jane chimed in.
“Ain’t that a surprise.” Professor Hall added, eliciting a shocked look and a frown from his fellow travelling partners. “You know you love it.”
“I absolutely do n-” Dr. Who began, before his fucking head exploded after being shot with a high-caliber laser rifle.
“Oh no!” Sarah said, albeit in less savory terms.
From the brush emerged Detective Peachy Keen, a private investigator.
“You!” Professor Hall remarked, thinking back earlier. “Of course!”
The whirring and groaning of the TARDIS engines roared with more aplomb and verve than usual as they landed at the street corner.
“Alright, fellows,” Doctor Who began. “We’ve got to solve this murder.”
“Righty-O, hot stuff!” remarked JJ Cool as he threw his amazing multicolored scarf over his neck and began to boogie out the door, eliciting scoffs from the Reverend, the Professor, and Sarah.
As they stepped outside, a stray hound wandered towards the time and space ship and began barking at the group. Doctor Who kneeled down to the animal, and began interrogating it.
“I’m here to solve a murder.” Doctor Who explained, “one of someone very close to me.”
The dog barked back its response. Dr. Who gestured to his friends to follow him down the street.
“New York during prohibition.” Professor Hall observed, “dearie me, what a sight.”
“Tight!” JJ Cool grooved on ahead of the group.
Eventually, the team found themselves at a mid-size office building somewhere uptown.
“Thank you, boy.” Doctor Who gave the hound a treat from his pocket, and then proceeded to kick the door open.
“Keen!” He roared. “I’m coming for you!”
Inside, behind a desk, Detective Peachy Keen was trying to get a bag of candy open without the aid of his beloved scissors. He rose from his desk, then in vain tried to rush to and lock the door of his office so as to prevent his old friend from seeing him that day. Unfortunately, the door opened in front of him, and the travelling companions Doctor Who, Sarah Jane, Professor Hall, Reverend Lindsay, and JJ Cool entered.
“Hello, old bean,” Doctor Who began to explain, “these are my friends, Sarah Jane, Professor Hall, Reverend Lindsay, and JJ Cool.”
“It is nice to meet you, Sarah Jane, Professor Hall, Reverend Lindsay, and JJ Cool.” Keen muttered. “What do you want from me?”
“I want you to kill a man for me.” Doctor Who cackled, “me.”
“Do you mean the immortal being, Me, from viking times?”
“No. I want you to come and find me and shoot me with this rifle.” He placed the weapon on Keen’s desk.
The phone suddenly rang.
“It’s for me.” Doctor Who said. He picked up the receiver and held it to his face.
“Who.” He coolly answered.
A voice on the other end of the line said something ominous. Professor Hall, looking on, realized what was happening.
“It’s started.” He began to reminisce.
The Brigadier burst into Professor Hall’s laboratory, not realizing what he was about to see.
“Good god! Do show some respect for yourselves!” JJ Cool and Professor Hall had been having an intimate moment, and did not expect to encounter their boss that day. “I thought you two were preparing to go on an adventure with Doctor Who, along with the Reverend and Ms. Smith.”
“And just what do you think we do in the spaceship, huh, armyman?”
“Mr. Cool, I will not tolerate any more insubordination.”
The TARDIS then materialized around them, as they suddenly were cast into the main, wooden control room, accompanied by Dr. Who, Sarah Jane, Reverend Lindsay, and Sgt. Benton.
“New look. I can dig it!” JJ Cool observed.
“I accidentally changed the theme.” Sgt. Benton coyly admitted, everyone knowing full well his complete inability to ever do anything right.
“What are we doing?” Reverend Lindsay asked.
“Going to save time itself.” Doctor Who answered, walking over to the payphone to make a call. He put in his spare change, and dialed the number.
“Yes, hello, this is you, I’m just making sure our plan is good.” Doctor Who said, playing with a yoyo. “Great, darling, I’ll see you in a jiff.”
“I’m sorry, Doctor, but what the fuck is happening?” Professor Hall finally asked. “I’m just realizing now that I’m just remembering everything that’s happened in our past few adventures and none of it makes any sense.”
“It’s your memories, how the fuck would I know?” Doctor Who replied. “I’m faking my death, you imbecile.”
“Oh, right.” Professor Hall quieted down, before raising a concern. “Why?”
“I just do it every once in a while, you know, freak people out, get people to tune in after Strictly, whatever.”
Professor Hall laughed at this josh.
Recalling this, Professor Hall laughed at that jape.
Recalling that, Professor Hall laughed at that joke.
Recalling that, Professor Hall smiled.
The Baron Mortdecai then slit his throat open and repeatedly stabbed him before throwing him into the volcano, the Professor screaming in pain.
Sarah screamed, before a familiar wheezing, groaning noise sounded, and she found herself in the trusty TARDIS once again.
“Why couldn’t you do anything, Doctor?” Sarah asked, tears in her eyes.
Doctor Who looked at her with sad eyes. “It was too many variables, I didn’t account for you all. I was bound to lose track of one of you.”
“But what about JJ?” Sarah asked.
“He’s asleep, inside, in their room.” He gestured inside. “We’re going to get Chinese food and talk out our problems, now.”
And, in the TARDIS that Christmas morning, Sgt. Benton, the Brigadier, Sarah Jane, Reverend Lindsay, the widower JJ Cool, and most of all, Doctor Who, began to understand what had happened, even if the audience couldn’t.