This would rupture the space-time continuum. Is that what you want? Because that's what'll happen! It's risky enough with Suthers walking around delicate machinery at CERN supping on a plastic, two litre bottle of fizzy pop.
Can you imagine what might happen, though?
And i can (and have) imagined loads of shit.
I either smell a challenge or dirty socks. Maybe both.
Post by Cap Alekbuster on Dec 10, 2016 17:39:57 GMT
Cabinet update: I was hoping Trump would choose a nice pine or oak cabinet with lots of little drawers (and maybe some brass trim)to keep his money and enemies list in, but instead of that he's apparently going to stuff said items in billionaires without a clue pertaining to their cabinet positions (against the wall, presumably. That's where I'd put 'em).
Of out interest and ignorance, what is old Blumpkins stance on the right to bear arms? He is a master of the holier than thou approach, and brings it to any and every argument I've seen him in on GB. Must be a nightmare to live with.
He seems dead set against any private weapon ownership. Apparently (reading between his brilliant lines) because only ignorant people who want to shoot others and vote Republican seek to own them. You didn't ask, but I own guns and shoot for recreation (I suck with a pistol but my rifle work is pretty good). My interest is mostly political. I believe criminals and those with disorders that may lead to loss of judgement should be prohibited from owning them. I'm well aware that there are drawbacks - sometimes fatal - to allowing gun ownership but I don't seek a risk-free life, which seems to be the progressive approach. Also for the record, I despise the NRA. I know dozens of folks who own guns. Some are the familiar stereotype, but most are not. I'm getting all serious and political in my funny thread. Sorry, guys.
Post by Cap Alekbuster on Nov 11, 2016 7:29:32 GMT
This probably isn't the right place to share this, but I've been having political arguments with Jon Blum on Facebook and I gotta tell you - the man hightails it when facts get in the way of his hysterics. I linked him to actual documents from the framers of the second constitutional amendment (the gun one, for you foreigners)that explicitly contradicted his brave, holier than thou stance on dangerous rednecks and guns. He skedaddled. Just tonight he closed a Facebook thread where he was blaming third party voters for the Trump victory (Lance Parkin chimed in on this one, too. He told me I don't vote like an adult. Asshole.) I'm a Libertarian, by the way. But as soon as facts and figures entered the thread ol' Blum closed it. Gotta say it - he's sort of a jerk.
I would love to shelter you. I have a three bedroom apartment (with only one bedroom in use) in central China. Bills are affordable and rent is free. I'm full time employed and there are many opportunities for you to find work for yourself too. Do I win?
That sounds lovely but I'm certain I'd get you deported.
We could return to that town we attacked when we were bikers. Remember that? They're probably all over it now, peaceful status quo returned. It would be worth it just to see their traumatised faces when they hear the sound of our engines.
There is, of course, another option here. We could pick somewhere we all liked, move in and push the current inhabitants out. I must say I rather like Barcelona's architecture - why don't we take that? Or Florence, maybe?
We could get Garr to ship the unwanteds out in his van.
Garr's van wouldn't be Garr's van without his 'upgrades'.
I do enjoy architecture, though, so it's tempting. I'm not sure we'd have to time to push all the inhabitants of those places out, though. There must be dozens of them. I suppose if it becomes necessary we could just renovate a crawlspace (which would teach Garr a thing or two).
This is all sounding like a lot of work, though. Perhaps I neglected to mention it, but I'd like to improve my political, social and material surroundings without any actual effort on my part. So, bear that in mind.
You can come and live with us in Swindon if you like. But you would have to put up with all the in-breds. They're okay really, just a little like zombies without the flesh eating bit. We have a spare bed in the dungeon. We only use it at weekends.
I don't mind inbreds as long as they don't ask to thumb-wrestle. And a dungeon cot is okay as long as it has been scraped.
I can't find this 'Swindon' on the map, though. Is it one of those tiny countries, like Sans Mario and Frankenstein?
I would be delighted to have you stay with me, but with all those 'guests' taking up space in the back of the van as they await 'correction' there just isn't the room. It might have suited you, if you don't mind living in a theocracy-lite type set-up that acts as a second rate Liechtenstein for the super-wealthy to circumnavigate taxes.
Anyway, World War 3 is coming so we're all fucked no matter where we are.
A second-rate Frankenstein is better then no Frankenstein, but I'm afraid the whimpering of the unprocessed would be a distraction, what with their catchy dance tunes and muttered claims of once being a doctor. You really must expand your crawlspace; I've said it again and again.
Otherwise, despite the distressing presence of double-foreigners and the small detail of your having said, 'no', yours is the best offer yet. I'll check with Fergus.
I am heartened by your optimism regarding our future sex lives, though.
Would love to have you, and our spare bedroom is nice and cosy, but I fear that Britain and Wales have also slipped into fascism and are now ruled by a non-elected far right government who seized power in a 'night of the long knives' kind of way and are hell bent on pursuing the manipulated, prejudiced knee-jerk opinions of an ill-educated populace, despite it being glaringly obvious that it is bringing about the collapse of the economy and a future in the second or third world.
My only hope is that I can move to Scotland, Northern Ireland or Gibraltar before they split from this doomed alliance, laughingly referred to as the United Kingdom, and re-join the United Europe. That is, or course, if the nightmare called Brexit hasn't permanently destabilised the EU as well allowing the organised crime syndicates known as 'China' or 'Russia' wholesale access to rob us blind.
But, if you're happy with all of that, welcome aboard!
(PS. likewise, I'm keen to sound out alternative living conditions, and offering myself up for adoption. Can make my own porridge, if that helps)
I am sorry to hear that your country is run by foreigners.
The idea of combining our resources in order to achieve adoption in an agreeable, non-fascist, non-idiot*-led foreign land is interesting, though, and invites further thought.
Perhaps we will hear from a Russian or Chinese person. Better to be the robber than the robbed, eh?
Post by Cap Alekbuster on Oct 30, 2016 6:45:26 GMT
Not being a fan of either flavors of fascism currently en route to becoming the governing standard in 'murica, I've decided it's best for all concerned that someone who does not live here - i.e. a foreigner in a foreign land- take full responsibility of me.
I am now accepting applications. If you with to be my new owner, please describe yourself, your financial situation (current and prospective; no poor people, please!) and the sociopolitical and actual climate of the foreign land you inhabit.
(I require Recipe Book-approved food only once per day, am only moderately gassy, and will commit small crimes for money.)
Maybe we could strip Garr of his badges and castrate him using fireworks?
Not sure why we'd want to, though. I like Garr, and it's not his fault 'Doctor' Suthers is jealous of every aspect of his being. Suthers is just a mewling, inconsequential dishrag of a man. If a man he be.
Maybe we should strip Suthers of his badges, though I'm not sure he could stand without his ill-gotten accolades propping his frail frame upright.
Draculasaurus: I LOVE Return of the Living Dead!
Feb 8, 2017 21:55:42 GMT
Josh: Yeah, ROTLD is a masterpiece
Feb 8, 2017 21:57:09 GMT
Josh: watched it recently and it really is the equal of Re-Animator, Evil Dead 2 or Dead Alive (Brain Damage)
Feb 8, 2017 21:57:45 GMT
Draculasaurus: Part of it is the pace and editing. Fantastic.
Feb 8, 2017 22:00:27 GMT
Claude McLazarou: Yes, but who would win in a fight between Linnea Quigley and Debbie Rochon, though?
Feb 9, 2017 11:51:23 GMT
Claude McLazarou: When i say 'fight', i obviously mean wrestling in treacle.
Feb 9, 2017 11:51:46 GMT
Clem Tarknado: I'd have thought golden syrup would taste better...
Feb 9, 2017 20:15:57 GMT
Feb 9, 2017 22:11:46 GMT
Draculasaurus: Looks like there were three cloud car pilots arguing about who gets to go, and asshole Luke just gets in, and the one is like; "No fucking way, dude."
Feb 9, 2017 23:09:07 GMT
Josh: Lando: "Come on Luke, just let him drive." Luke: Shut up Lando! I'm not such a bad pilot...I don't have to sit here and listen to this." Guy in other pod: "Im not taking off while this one handed smartass is in the other pod."
Feb 10, 2017 3:06:22 GMT
Claude McLazarou: John Lando's best film was "Schlock".
Feb 10, 2017 8:02:24 GMT