Post by Draculasaurus on Dec 24, 2015 23:36:21 GMT
This story was my entry in the October Gallifrey Base writing challenge.
Merry Christmas, enjoy.
Here it is as an RTF file if you prefer, or the full text is below in this post.
From Which Grows the Mighty Oak.rtf (40.75 KB)
From Which Grows the Mighty Oak
by David W. Burson
Doctor Who injected a bony finger into his right nostril as he strode around the tent lost in his thoughts.
“Yeah, could you not do that please?” said Clara
Doctor Who looked at her, nonplussed.
“The finger in your nose” said Clara making an upward drilling gesture with her own finger. “Could you not do that please. It's revolting.”
“It's perfectly natural” said Doctor Who while carefully digging in even deeper.
“There's no end to the number of perfectly natural things I'd rather not watch you do.” said Clara
“Got it!” exclaimed Doctor Who gesticulating excitedly and turning to face Clara “Oh, no. I've dropped it.” he said dropping to his knees and searching through the sand with his outspread hands.
“Why are you doing that? Stop that.” said Clara “Weren't you trying to get rid of it to start with?”
Doctor Who continued to sift through the sand.
“Taking an account of our resources Clara.” said the Doctor “You never know what might be useful in a dangerous situation.”
“Well, what do we have?” she asked
Doctor Who rose to his feet triumphantly holding a gruesome booger. He delicately pried loose a grain of sand and placed it in his pocket.
“We have what we need, I think, but we don't have a lot of options to choose from.”
“OK, what's the plan?” She asked
“Well, we're in the desert and it's 80 kilometers to the nearest water source. We don't have transportation but there is one way out that I can think of.”
“What is it?” she asked
“I'm afraid you won't like the idea.” he said holding up a glass vial of pale pink liquid “I pocketed this when we were in the laboratory of that blasted fiend, Doctor Amarillo Mostaza. It's one of his genetic reprogramming cocktails”
“So what does it do,” said Clara “make us run super fast or fly or something?”
“No, er, no. It's only a dose for one and what it does is...”
“Well, tell me.”
“What it does is; it changes one of our bodies into.. something more adapted to the journey.”
“Just tell me.” she said
“It changes one of us into a camel. Camelus Dromedarius” he added meekly
“That doesn't sound like a good idea.” said Clara “What if once you're a camel I can't change you back?”
“That's the thing. It has to be you. It won't work on me. I'm completely different at a genetic level. -and even if I could, I'll need to constantly re calibrate the sonic glasses to follow the trail left by Doctor Mostaza's chariot.”
“So your big plan is to ride me to safety? Is that what you're saying?”
“Yes, that's basically it.” said the Doctor
“That plan is not going to happen so you need to start thinking up another one.” said Clara
“Clara, there's no other way.” said the Doctor
“There is definitely another way and you are going to think of it” she insisted
“There's nothing else.” he said “We have our clothes, an empty tent, the vial, the sonic glasses, sand, one booger and a clear view of the sun. I'm sorry Clara, there's no way around it.”
He held out the vial again and she took it from his hand angrily.
“OK, I can do this.” she said “I guess there's no use in waiting around.”
She drank the serum and waited tensely with her eyes shut tight.
“Oh, Clara,” said Doctor Who “It will take a while, I think.”
Clara let out a breath impatiently.
“All right, how long will it take?” asked Clara
“I'm not sure precisely, but it should be a pretty grueling ordeal.” he said
“grueling ordeal?” she said “You never said anything about a grueling ordeal”
“I told you it would turn you into a very different creature, it's not a magic potion. It won't be any worse than having a fever... while giving birth...and having all of your bones broken.”
The Doctor withered under Clara's spiteful gaze.
“It may not be that bad” he added delicately
“Well, I'm not doing it.” said Clara “I'll vomit it up.”
“You can't.”
“Oh, I'll find a way” she said
“I mean, you can't, it's already absorbed into your blood stream.” he said
Clara shot him a very angry smile.
“Great! Really wonderful.” she said
A few hours later Doctor Who had managed to make a small fire from the wooden tent poles and they sat around it quietly.
Clara was starting to feel very strange.
“Is it hot in here to you?” she said tugging at the collar of her shirt
“It's just the same as it was before,” said the Doctor “I think it's you who are changing Clara.”
“I'm not changing, you're changing.” she said with a detached belligerence
She stood up and unbuttoned her shirt.
“What in the world is that thing?” said the Doctor
“Oh, of course you've never seen a brassier.” she said
“Not your bra Clara, that thing in your belly button.” said the Doctor
“Oh yeah, my little souvenir! My little souvenir! You wouldn't understand that, Mr. Alien Autopsy.” she said with a mocking gesture like a drunken curtsy.
“Clara, what is it?” asked the Doctor “Why is there a thing in your navel?”
“You want to know about my little souvenir? My little keepsake? I'll tell you but you won't understand.” she said “Mister Pink and I used to slip away during lunch period. He was so sweet. We had our bench we would meet at and sometimes we would slip off behind the bushes. It was really peaceful and private, not the sordid, dirty place you're probably imagining. Anyway we were adults and free and in love and we would slip away to our little rendezvous spot and... do what came naturally.”
The Doctor sat back.
“Clara, that doesn't really explain it. I don't see how-”
“Don't call it 'dogging'!” said Clara “I won't have you judging me.”
“Clara, I don't care what style you used,” said the Doctor “I just wanted to know why you have that thing in your belly button.”
“Well, that's what I was getting to.” said Clara “One day we were behind our bench and we engaged in.. our activities and afterward I noticed that this acorn had worked its way in, and had gotten lodged in my belly button.”
“That was a more vivid description than I was hoping to get, Clara, and I still don't understand why it's still there now.”
“Don't you get the joke? Danny was going to think it was funny. I had to get back for a class and I got dressed and acted like I was going to leave it in there. I said that I liked it and was going to keep it. We joked around about it. Of course I took it out. Then we were going to meet the next day and I put the acorn back in my belly button. That was going to be the joke. I was going to act like I had left it in all day. We were going to really laugh but then he died, Doctor. He just died and then you know the rest. The whole terrible rest of the story.”
“Oh, Clara” said Doctor Who “I wish that I knew what to say.”
“What is there to say? Danny died sort of, then he was a god damned robot man, then he went on back to hard drive heaven and I'm supposed to move on from that! Crazy Clara didn't get closure from the wild adventure and now she's got a stupid undelivered joke in her stupid belly button.”
She plucked out the acorn with a wet pop and held it up.
“No one turned off my emotions, Doctor!” she cried
The Doctor made a sour grimace.
“Oh, for god's sake Clara, it stinks!” he said
“Well, I just told you that I'd had it in for weeks. I'm trying to open up to you about my trauma.” she said
“It's really awful, Clara. It smells like a zoo caught fire! Put it back in. Please!”
“All right,” she said reinserting the gruesome ornament “There goes my cathartic moment, my journey toward healing.”
“It's just for the time being.” said the Doctor “You've symbolically removed it. That's what counts isn't it?”
“I'm felling dizzy, Doctor” said Clara
“I'm sure the odor will clear away pretty soon.” he said
“It's not that, it's that serum.” said Clara “I think it's really starting now.”
She sat down with a pained expression.
“What was that sound?” said the Doctor
“Don't be impertinent!” Said Clara “My stomach is in knots.”
“I'm not interested in your flatulence.” said the Doctor tensely “I heard a sound out there in the darkness.”
Clara didn't hear him as she writhed on the ground groaning.
“This is terrible timing, Clara” he said “Can't you hold it back?”
Clara let out a bestial moan.
“I'll take that as a 'no'.” he said
A large chariot came into view pulled by four hulking werewolves. They disengaged their harnesses and surrounded the Doctor and Clara growling menacingly. A portly man in yellow robes descended from the chariot.
“Doctor Mostaza, I should have known you would be back.” said the Doctor
“Didn't you think I would notice the missing vial? My laboratory is very well organized as you must have noticed.”
Clara gave out a wail. Her face was becoming elongated and she writhed in the sand as her body began heaving and rapidly expanding.
“I see your assistant is enjoying my serum.” said Mostaza walking into the firelight “It's a pity that-”
There was a loud pop like a champagne cork as the acorn shot out of Clara's bellybutton and flew directly into Mostaza's open mouth. He sputtered as he grasped at his throat. His eyes grew wide and he fell to his knees. One of the werewolves came over and attempted to preform the Heimlich Maneuver on him. The wolfman's claws tore into Mostaza's robes and his round belly began bleeding. Doctor Mostaza escaped from his grasp.
“Idiot!” he rasped as he collapsed and died
The wolf men gathered around his body and picked it up reverently carrying it to the chariot. They silently pulled the chariot off into the night.
“Well, there's some closure for you.” said the Doctor
He walked over to Clara who was now completely transformed into a camel. She was skittish as he approached.
“I'm sorry Clara, I knew you wouldn't remember me after the transformation, and I'm sorry but I don't have anything else.”
He reached in to his pocket and held out the booger on his palm.
“Here girl, here girl, come and get it. That's a good girl Clara. Come and get it.
Clara slowly walked toward the Doctor and cautiously ate the lump from his hand.
“You're a good girl Clara.” said the Doctor stroking her neck
Clara gave out a grunt.
“All right, let's go.” said the Doctor as he gently climbed onto her back.
They slowly moved out into the moonlight as a desert breeze picked up teasing the sand from the lip of the dunes.
“Yes Clara, you never know what might come in handy.”
Merry Christmas, enjoy.
Here it is as an RTF file if you prefer, or the full text is below in this post.
From Which Grows the Mighty Oak.rtf (40.75 KB)
From Which Grows the Mighty Oak
by David W. Burson
Doctor Who injected a bony finger into his right nostril as he strode around the tent lost in his thoughts.
“Yeah, could you not do that please?” said Clara
Doctor Who looked at her, nonplussed.
“The finger in your nose” said Clara making an upward drilling gesture with her own finger. “Could you not do that please. It's revolting.”
“It's perfectly natural” said Doctor Who while carefully digging in even deeper.
“There's no end to the number of perfectly natural things I'd rather not watch you do.” said Clara
“Got it!” exclaimed Doctor Who gesticulating excitedly and turning to face Clara “Oh, no. I've dropped it.” he said dropping to his knees and searching through the sand with his outspread hands.
“Why are you doing that? Stop that.” said Clara “Weren't you trying to get rid of it to start with?”
Doctor Who continued to sift through the sand.
“Taking an account of our resources Clara.” said the Doctor “You never know what might be useful in a dangerous situation.”
“Well, what do we have?” she asked
Doctor Who rose to his feet triumphantly holding a gruesome booger. He delicately pried loose a grain of sand and placed it in his pocket.
“We have what we need, I think, but we don't have a lot of options to choose from.”
“OK, what's the plan?” She asked
“Well, we're in the desert and it's 80 kilometers to the nearest water source. We don't have transportation but there is one way out that I can think of.”
“What is it?” she asked
“I'm afraid you won't like the idea.” he said holding up a glass vial of pale pink liquid “I pocketed this when we were in the laboratory of that blasted fiend, Doctor Amarillo Mostaza. It's one of his genetic reprogramming cocktails”
“So what does it do,” said Clara “make us run super fast or fly or something?”
“No, er, no. It's only a dose for one and what it does is...”
“Well, tell me.”
“What it does is; it changes one of our bodies into.. something more adapted to the journey.”
“Just tell me.” she said
“It changes one of us into a camel. Camelus Dromedarius” he added meekly
“That doesn't sound like a good idea.” said Clara “What if once you're a camel I can't change you back?”
“That's the thing. It has to be you. It won't work on me. I'm completely different at a genetic level. -and even if I could, I'll need to constantly re calibrate the sonic glasses to follow the trail left by Doctor Mostaza's chariot.”
“So your big plan is to ride me to safety? Is that what you're saying?”
“Yes, that's basically it.” said the Doctor
“That plan is not going to happen so you need to start thinking up another one.” said Clara
“Clara, there's no other way.” said the Doctor
“There is definitely another way and you are going to think of it” she insisted
“There's nothing else.” he said “We have our clothes, an empty tent, the vial, the sonic glasses, sand, one booger and a clear view of the sun. I'm sorry Clara, there's no way around it.”
He held out the vial again and she took it from his hand angrily.
“OK, I can do this.” she said “I guess there's no use in waiting around.”
She drank the serum and waited tensely with her eyes shut tight.
“Oh, Clara,” said Doctor Who “It will take a while, I think.”
Clara let out a breath impatiently.
“All right, how long will it take?” asked Clara
“I'm not sure precisely, but it should be a pretty grueling ordeal.” he said
“grueling ordeal?” she said “You never said anything about a grueling ordeal”
“I told you it would turn you into a very different creature, it's not a magic potion. It won't be any worse than having a fever... while giving birth...and having all of your bones broken.”
The Doctor withered under Clara's spiteful gaze.
“It may not be that bad” he added delicately
“Well, I'm not doing it.” said Clara “I'll vomit it up.”
“You can't.”
“Oh, I'll find a way” she said
“I mean, you can't, it's already absorbed into your blood stream.” he said
Clara shot him a very angry smile.
“Great! Really wonderful.” she said
A few hours later Doctor Who had managed to make a small fire from the wooden tent poles and they sat around it quietly.
Clara was starting to feel very strange.
“Is it hot in here to you?” she said tugging at the collar of her shirt
“It's just the same as it was before,” said the Doctor “I think it's you who are changing Clara.”
“I'm not changing, you're changing.” she said with a detached belligerence
She stood up and unbuttoned her shirt.
“What in the world is that thing?” said the Doctor
“Oh, of course you've never seen a brassier.” she said
“Not your bra Clara, that thing in your belly button.” said the Doctor
“Oh yeah, my little souvenir! My little souvenir! You wouldn't understand that, Mr. Alien Autopsy.” she said with a mocking gesture like a drunken curtsy.
“Clara, what is it?” asked the Doctor “Why is there a thing in your navel?”
“You want to know about my little souvenir? My little keepsake? I'll tell you but you won't understand.” she said “Mister Pink and I used to slip away during lunch period. He was so sweet. We had our bench we would meet at and sometimes we would slip off behind the bushes. It was really peaceful and private, not the sordid, dirty place you're probably imagining. Anyway we were adults and free and in love and we would slip away to our little rendezvous spot and... do what came naturally.”
The Doctor sat back.
“Clara, that doesn't really explain it. I don't see how-”
“Don't call it 'dogging'!” said Clara “I won't have you judging me.”
“Clara, I don't care what style you used,” said the Doctor “I just wanted to know why you have that thing in your belly button.”
“Well, that's what I was getting to.” said Clara “One day we were behind our bench and we engaged in.. our activities and afterward I noticed that this acorn had worked its way in, and had gotten lodged in my belly button.”
“That was a more vivid description than I was hoping to get, Clara, and I still don't understand why it's still there now.”
“Don't you get the joke? Danny was going to think it was funny. I had to get back for a class and I got dressed and acted like I was going to leave it in there. I said that I liked it and was going to keep it. We joked around about it. Of course I took it out. Then we were going to meet the next day and I put the acorn back in my belly button. That was going to be the joke. I was going to act like I had left it in all day. We were going to really laugh but then he died, Doctor. He just died and then you know the rest. The whole terrible rest of the story.”
“Oh, Clara” said Doctor Who “I wish that I knew what to say.”
“What is there to say? Danny died sort of, then he was a god damned robot man, then he went on back to hard drive heaven and I'm supposed to move on from that! Crazy Clara didn't get closure from the wild adventure and now she's got a stupid undelivered joke in her stupid belly button.”
She plucked out the acorn with a wet pop and held it up.
“No one turned off my emotions, Doctor!” she cried
The Doctor made a sour grimace.
“Oh, for god's sake Clara, it stinks!” he said
“Well, I just told you that I'd had it in for weeks. I'm trying to open up to you about my trauma.” she said
“It's really awful, Clara. It smells like a zoo caught fire! Put it back in. Please!”
“All right,” she said reinserting the gruesome ornament “There goes my cathartic moment, my journey toward healing.”
“It's just for the time being.” said the Doctor “You've symbolically removed it. That's what counts isn't it?”
“I'm felling dizzy, Doctor” said Clara
“I'm sure the odor will clear away pretty soon.” he said
“It's not that, it's that serum.” said Clara “I think it's really starting now.”
She sat down with a pained expression.
“What was that sound?” said the Doctor
“Don't be impertinent!” Said Clara “My stomach is in knots.”
“I'm not interested in your flatulence.” said the Doctor tensely “I heard a sound out there in the darkness.”
Clara didn't hear him as she writhed on the ground groaning.
“This is terrible timing, Clara” he said “Can't you hold it back?”
Clara let out a bestial moan.
“I'll take that as a 'no'.” he said
A large chariot came into view pulled by four hulking werewolves. They disengaged their harnesses and surrounded the Doctor and Clara growling menacingly. A portly man in yellow robes descended from the chariot.
“Doctor Mostaza, I should have known you would be back.” said the Doctor
“Didn't you think I would notice the missing vial? My laboratory is very well organized as you must have noticed.”
Clara gave out a wail. Her face was becoming elongated and she writhed in the sand as her body began heaving and rapidly expanding.
“I see your assistant is enjoying my serum.” said Mostaza walking into the firelight “It's a pity that-”
There was a loud pop like a champagne cork as the acorn shot out of Clara's bellybutton and flew directly into Mostaza's open mouth. He sputtered as he grasped at his throat. His eyes grew wide and he fell to his knees. One of the werewolves came over and attempted to preform the Heimlich Maneuver on him. The wolfman's claws tore into Mostaza's robes and his round belly began bleeding. Doctor Mostaza escaped from his grasp.
“Idiot!” he rasped as he collapsed and died
The wolf men gathered around his body and picked it up reverently carrying it to the chariot. They silently pulled the chariot off into the night.
“Well, there's some closure for you.” said the Doctor
He walked over to Clara who was now completely transformed into a camel. She was skittish as he approached.
“I'm sorry Clara, I knew you wouldn't remember me after the transformation, and I'm sorry but I don't have anything else.”
He reached in to his pocket and held out the booger on his palm.
“Here girl, here girl, come and get it. That's a good girl Clara. Come and get it.
Clara slowly walked toward the Doctor and cautiously ate the lump from his hand.
“You're a good girl Clara.” said the Doctor stroking her neck
Clara gave out a grunt.
“All right, let's go.” said the Doctor as he gently climbed onto her back.
They slowly moved out into the moonlight as a desert breeze picked up teasing the sand from the lip of the dunes.
“Yes Clara, you never know what might come in handy.”