Post by Fanny on Aug 20, 2013 19:05:08 GMT
The Second Doctor twice did battle with the fiendish Yeti... but what if his third incarnation also fought an enemy whose name ended in the vowel sounds ‘eti’ – i.e Betty Crocker, the famous fictional American housewife/cook?
The premise is as follows:
On a UNIT plane the Dr and Jo are speeding towards New York City being briefed by the Brigadier (calling via longwave radio). They are to liase with American UNIT forces to locate the Master, who has been positively identified there. The Dr is disgruntled with this and rewires the radio in protest to pick up Radio 1, playing the latest hit song by Alvin Stardust. Jo laughs.
On arrival they are greeted by Fyler. Suddenly a strange shimmering is seen in the air – Betty Crocker the fictional baker and cook, appears, resembling her 1950s TV ad incarnation. Betty begins laying bombs and setting the timers around the airport (a secret UNIT base). All the Americans present are unable to fire on her. “Good heavens man,” says the Dr, “open fire, she’ll kill us all!” “But.... I... can’t fire....” they reply, “it’s.... Betty! Sweet old.. Betty... Crocker!” The DR and Jo, being British and impervious to their nostalgia, fend off Betty (who vanishes) and defuse the bombs in the nick of time. (Watching on a scanner the Master chuckles: “You fool Doctor. You will not win a second time. Soon, with the delightful hologramatic Miss Crocker, I shall overpower all the weapons supplies in this continent. And then I shall take over. Ha ha ha!”)
The Dr traces the hologram emanations to a nearby bombs factory. He uses his sonic screwdriver to ‘summon’ Betty Crocker once more. They become locked in battle. (Terry Walsh cleverly doubling up as both the Dr and Betty) It is ultimately Fyler, who tags along in order to flirt with Jo, who deals the deadly blow – “Gee, Doc, vapourising the solidified light image was like the time I had to destroy those Paxon critters” (nice continuity with the events of ‘The Claws of Paxo’). The DR says, “Fyler – you, sir, are a genius! You see the polarity of the neutron flow was running in a steadystate particle formation linked to a psychokinetic feed. Your conscious knowledge of Miss Crocker allowed you and you alone to dispel the illusion!”
Using this knowledge they get a UNIT helicopter to fly them over to Camp Delgado (in-joke), the only remaining weapons factory in the USA and therefore the Master’s logical next target. They skydive out of the copter (CSO visual effects). Instead of a parachute, the Dr spreads open his cape, which is decorated on the inside with a huge Stars and Stripes. “NO!” cries the master as his nemesis floats gently to the ground! “You will not rob me of my victory!”
He picks up a huge spoon, part of a nearby Betty Crocker food promotion going on in the town. The DR picks up a huge fork and the two conduct a ‘sword’fight with the two eating utensils. The DR wins but the Master escapes in his Tardis.
“Damn,” says Tyler, “the fiend got away. It was personal this time Doc. My home ground. And I failed. I failed...” But the Dr pats him on the shoulder. “No Fyler, you have not failed. Not whilst one remaining American stands chin-up and steadfast against the forces of tyranny. Whilst there are still men such as you, justice will prevail.” Jo cries. Fyler clutches the Dr’s hand in manly friendship.
As a UNIT chopper lands to fly them away, we close on a nearby Betty Crocker poster. Eeerily, the poster *shimmers* and disappears......
END CREDITS
Here is how the story might have looked:-
The premise is as follows:
On a UNIT plane the Dr and Jo are speeding towards New York City being briefed by the Brigadier (calling via longwave radio). They are to liase with American UNIT forces to locate the Master, who has been positively identified there. The Dr is disgruntled with this and rewires the radio in protest to pick up Radio 1, playing the latest hit song by Alvin Stardust. Jo laughs.
On arrival they are greeted by Fyler. Suddenly a strange shimmering is seen in the air – Betty Crocker the fictional baker and cook, appears, resembling her 1950s TV ad incarnation. Betty begins laying bombs and setting the timers around the airport (a secret UNIT base). All the Americans present are unable to fire on her. “Good heavens man,” says the Dr, “open fire, she’ll kill us all!” “But.... I... can’t fire....” they reply, “it’s.... Betty! Sweet old.. Betty... Crocker!” The DR and Jo, being British and impervious to their nostalgia, fend off Betty (who vanishes) and defuse the bombs in the nick of time. (Watching on a scanner the Master chuckles: “You fool Doctor. You will not win a second time. Soon, with the delightful hologramatic Miss Crocker, I shall overpower all the weapons supplies in this continent. And then I shall take over. Ha ha ha!”)
The Dr traces the hologram emanations to a nearby bombs factory. He uses his sonic screwdriver to ‘summon’ Betty Crocker once more. They become locked in battle. (Terry Walsh cleverly doubling up as both the Dr and Betty) It is ultimately Fyler, who tags along in order to flirt with Jo, who deals the deadly blow – “Gee, Doc, vapourising the solidified light image was like the time I had to destroy those Paxon critters” (nice continuity with the events of ‘The Claws of Paxo’). The DR says, “Fyler – you, sir, are a genius! You see the polarity of the neutron flow was running in a steadystate particle formation linked to a psychokinetic feed. Your conscious knowledge of Miss Crocker allowed you and you alone to dispel the illusion!”
Using this knowledge they get a UNIT helicopter to fly them over to Camp Delgado (in-joke), the only remaining weapons factory in the USA and therefore the Master’s logical next target. They skydive out of the copter (CSO visual effects). Instead of a parachute, the Dr spreads open his cape, which is decorated on the inside with a huge Stars and Stripes. “NO!” cries the master as his nemesis floats gently to the ground! “You will not rob me of my victory!”
He picks up a huge spoon, part of a nearby Betty Crocker food promotion going on in the town. The DR picks up a huge fork and the two conduct a ‘sword’fight with the two eating utensils. The DR wins but the Master escapes in his Tardis.
“Damn,” says Tyler, “the fiend got away. It was personal this time Doc. My home ground. And I failed. I failed...” But the Dr pats him on the shoulder. “No Fyler, you have not failed. Not whilst one remaining American stands chin-up and steadfast against the forces of tyranny. Whilst there are still men such as you, justice will prevail.” Jo cries. Fyler clutches the Dr’s hand in manly friendship.
As a UNIT chopper lands to fly them away, we close on a nearby Betty Crocker poster. Eeerily, the poster *shimmers* and disappears......
END CREDITS
Here is how the story might have looked:-