Post by Cushing4eva on Sept 23, 2016 14:34:25 GMT
Dr Who and his young friends Jamie and Zoe had left the TARDIS, eager to explore a new world. During landing there had been a brief moment or two of turbulence, worrying the Doctor, but when he checked the scanner he saw that the atmosphere was safe and breathable. A perfect place to have a picnic!
Jamie led the way, noting the strange, smooth avocado-colored path beneath their feet. There were bright lights above their head, leading the Doctor to speculate they were on a world with at least ten or twelve suns. This meant that visibility was poor, limiting their vision to just ten or twelve feet ahead, but the air was cool and sweet, reminding Dr Who of baked almonds, sultanas and oranges. This only increased the group’s appetite.
Suddenly they came across a large glass wall that stretched the length of the pathway. To the left they found an enormous plastered wall. To the right they found an immense drop into an abyss. Discovering that they could not go around the wall, Jamie suggested that they could go over it. Giving first Zoe, then Dr Who a leg up, all three were soon over and found that they were walking on a slippery, glass floor beneath which the avocado-colored path was quite visible.
Then suddenly they heard enormous voices, so loud they felt quite shaken. Instinctively the group huddled together, struggling to stay upright on the slippery surface.
“Madam, do you really need quite so much light while you work? A little restraint will help make your money go further!”
The lights seemed to dim and suddenly the room seemed much clearer. They could see that they were actually in an enormous room. What they had assumed was a bottomless abyss was just a long drop down to the vinyl-covered floor below. In the middle of the room were two giants, one male, one female.
The man was handsomely dressed in a white, fitted leisure suit that complimented a thick, lustrous bouffant to perfection. The woman was less dressed, wearing a nightie and thick blue terrycloth robe. Her hair was pulled up into a hairnet and she dragged carelessly on a lit cigarette.
“What’s this all about, pet?”
The man produced a bag of groceries and explained that he had come a very long way to see her on a matter of some importance. He asked her name and she said that she was Janice Stroud. She asked him if he would like a toasted teacake but he quickly replied that he had come on a matter of business, not pleasure, and made his way towards the group, setting the enormous bag down on top of the TARDIS!
“Besides,” he added, “I can think of a better way to fill your inner space!”
“Oh dear,” cried Dr Who in a state of agitation.
“What is going on here?” Jamie asked, puzzled at this strange turn of events.
“We must be on a planet of the giants!” Dr Who replied, the creases on his face seeming to catch the shadows in a very dramatic way to emphasize the danger they surely were in.
“Can’t we go back to the TARDIS?” Zoe pleaded.
“I don’t think so Zoe,” Dr Who replied, concern evident on his face, “because that handsome fellow has dropped his bag on top of the TARDIS. Our way is blocked!”
“Well, couldn’t we just go hide behind the bag until yon feller takes it back again?”
The group tried Jamie’s suggestion but found that the wall was as slippery as the floor and they could not get any purchase, finding themselves slipping down repeatedly.
“Oh, it’s no good Doctor!” Zoe complained as she brushed grease off her now shimmering silver catsuit. “If we stay out in the open like this the giants are certain to spot us!”
Dr Who agreed but Jamie then remembered a trick he had learned while fighting the redcoats. If you were in a place where there was no natural cover, lying down would make you much less visible. Dr Who rubbed his hands together, congratulating Jamie on a fine plan, and the three lay down on the glass, the Doctor, then Jamie, then Zoe.
The group watched as the man washed his hands and then set about opening his bag of provisions. As he did so the friends marveled at how slowly the giants seemed to move, which Dr Who explained was a matter of relativity. Suddenly they noticed the giant’s large brown hands above them as eight large pink logs were being lowered onto the very surface on which they were lying.
“Look at all those huge sausages!” Jamie exclaimed.
“Yes Jamie,” Dr Who agreed, adding hungrily “I am fond of big ones like those.”
They were able to have all of that conversation because, as I noted a paragraph or two ago, time was moving much faster for them than for the giant people they were interacting with.
Suddenly the sausages dropped and the friends found themselves pinned underneath. They panicked, squealing things like “Oh dear” and “Oh my giddy aunt” and “Bless my soul”. Dr Who nervously patted his forehead dry with a handkerchief he kept for just this sort of occasion.
“We’re quite trapped!” Zoe exclaimed.
“Ach, my leg!” Jamie cried, “I think it’s broken.”
“Oh dear,” Dr Who said once again, before suggesting that they all just needed to keep calm and a plan would soon come to him. After a moment he suggested, “Zoe, can you reach around Jamie and help with his sausage?”
Zoe tried but said that it was too large and thick to handle on her own.
“Doctor,” she suggested, “could you work on the one end of Jamie’s sausage while I take care of the other? I think if we do this together, we could give him some release.”
Together the friends tried, alternating their efforts but to no avail. Then Jamie had a thought:
“Would it help if I were to stick me dirk in it?”
Dr Who agreed so Jamie shoved his dirk in again and again as hard as he could while his two friends got his sausage off before they all collapsed together in exhaustion. Then they heard a loud, heavy metallic sound and realized that the male giant was slicing vegetables. Moments later had to dodge as showers of sliced tomatoes and onions landed all around them.
Then they saw the bananas descend. They had been sliced in half and were being laid down on top of the rest of the mixture. The friends were baffled but had no time to figure out what was going on. Dr Who and Jamie dodged the bananas but one landed between them and Zoe. Zoe was cut off from the rest of them! Frantically she tried to climb over the banana, swinging one leg over, but as she tried to climb the banana just seemed to slowly rotate on the mixture beneath her.
Zoe and Jamie were terrified but Dr Who looked thoughtful,
“The economy!” He exclaimed, “By combining sweet and savory in a single dish you surely are getting the best of both worlds.”
He soon was pulled out of his reverie when water (along with pepper, salt and sugar) was poured on top of the mixture, soaking them all and leaving the boys struggling to stay afloat. Quickly they swam over to Zoe’s sausage and joined her, all sitting on the sausage as though it was the back of a horse. They watched as the two giants had a conversation.
“And that, my dear,” the man said, gently rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke, “is that. Just stick it in the oven at Mark 4 for about an hour and you will find you have an adventurous repast that is quite edible.”
The female giant seemed quite impressed and asked why he had come.
“Because,” he said, stroking his chin thoughtfully, “I am compiling a great book of recipes. Some will go uncredited but it is imperative that some be attributed to housewives from across this great land of ours. It may seem strange to you,” he said, lowering his voice as he grabbed her shoulder, “but it will be thanks to the efforts of plain, ordinary folk like yourself that the people of Britain will learn to make the money go round. And you will not go unrewarded!”
The woman’s eyes seemed to light up at this and she asked what her reward would be. Happily the man produced a handful of slips of paper which he waved in front of her.
“Coupons. Money off everyday necessities. Plus the opportunity to win a stylish new kitchen to replace this mess.”
As the female giant danced around the kitchen, imagining how she would spent her bounty, the man turned and picked up Dr Who, Jamie and Zoe in his enormous brown hands. In what was surely a low whisper to him but an enormous shout to them he said:
“I remember being on this very adventure all those years ago and I remember what I said to you. You must go to Lee, London in 1973 to make all this happen. And now it’s time for you three to shoot off together – and remember, that mixture cooks for one hour,” and at that he lifted the bag off the TARDIS and deposited the three wet friends inside.
“That was quite an adventure,” Zoe began, “but we never did get to eat our picnic!”
Dr Who didn’t appear to be listening to his friend at first as his hands flew across the console, working to adjust everyone back to their own size. He told them that he had been on a similar adventure some years before with his friends Ian and Barbara and his biological granddaughter, Susan, and that this was clearly just a rehash of that much more thrilling and dramatic episode in his life.
Then his hands got to work setting a new course, “I don’t think we need to worry about our picnic though.”
He engaged the time rotor and they landed an hour later in the back garden of Mrs. J. Stroud and, having persuaded her to invite them to dinner, they all took care of their inner spaces and felt replete.
Jamie led the way, noting the strange, smooth avocado-colored path beneath their feet. There were bright lights above their head, leading the Doctor to speculate they were on a world with at least ten or twelve suns. This meant that visibility was poor, limiting their vision to just ten or twelve feet ahead, but the air was cool and sweet, reminding Dr Who of baked almonds, sultanas and oranges. This only increased the group’s appetite.
Suddenly they came across a large glass wall that stretched the length of the pathway. To the left they found an enormous plastered wall. To the right they found an immense drop into an abyss. Discovering that they could not go around the wall, Jamie suggested that they could go over it. Giving first Zoe, then Dr Who a leg up, all three were soon over and found that they were walking on a slippery, glass floor beneath which the avocado-colored path was quite visible.
Then suddenly they heard enormous voices, so loud they felt quite shaken. Instinctively the group huddled together, struggling to stay upright on the slippery surface.
“Madam, do you really need quite so much light while you work? A little restraint will help make your money go further!”
The lights seemed to dim and suddenly the room seemed much clearer. They could see that they were actually in an enormous room. What they had assumed was a bottomless abyss was just a long drop down to the vinyl-covered floor below. In the middle of the room were two giants, one male, one female.
The man was handsomely dressed in a white, fitted leisure suit that complimented a thick, lustrous bouffant to perfection. The woman was less dressed, wearing a nightie and thick blue terrycloth robe. Her hair was pulled up into a hairnet and she dragged carelessly on a lit cigarette.
“What’s this all about, pet?”
The man produced a bag of groceries and explained that he had come a very long way to see her on a matter of some importance. He asked her name and she said that she was Janice Stroud. She asked him if he would like a toasted teacake but he quickly replied that he had come on a matter of business, not pleasure, and made his way towards the group, setting the enormous bag down on top of the TARDIS!
“Besides,” he added, “I can think of a better way to fill your inner space!”
“Oh dear,” cried Dr Who in a state of agitation.
“What is going on here?” Jamie asked, puzzled at this strange turn of events.
“We must be on a planet of the giants!” Dr Who replied, the creases on his face seeming to catch the shadows in a very dramatic way to emphasize the danger they surely were in.
“Can’t we go back to the TARDIS?” Zoe pleaded.
“I don’t think so Zoe,” Dr Who replied, concern evident on his face, “because that handsome fellow has dropped his bag on top of the TARDIS. Our way is blocked!”
“Well, couldn’t we just go hide behind the bag until yon feller takes it back again?”
The group tried Jamie’s suggestion but found that the wall was as slippery as the floor and they could not get any purchase, finding themselves slipping down repeatedly.
“Oh, it’s no good Doctor!” Zoe complained as she brushed grease off her now shimmering silver catsuit. “If we stay out in the open like this the giants are certain to spot us!”
Dr Who agreed but Jamie then remembered a trick he had learned while fighting the redcoats. If you were in a place where there was no natural cover, lying down would make you much less visible. Dr Who rubbed his hands together, congratulating Jamie on a fine plan, and the three lay down on the glass, the Doctor, then Jamie, then Zoe.
The group watched as the man washed his hands and then set about opening his bag of provisions. As he did so the friends marveled at how slowly the giants seemed to move, which Dr Who explained was a matter of relativity. Suddenly they noticed the giant’s large brown hands above them as eight large pink logs were being lowered onto the very surface on which they were lying.
“Look at all those huge sausages!” Jamie exclaimed.
“Yes Jamie,” Dr Who agreed, adding hungrily “I am fond of big ones like those.”
They were able to have all of that conversation because, as I noted a paragraph or two ago, time was moving much faster for them than for the giant people they were interacting with.
Suddenly the sausages dropped and the friends found themselves pinned underneath. They panicked, squealing things like “Oh dear” and “Oh my giddy aunt” and “Bless my soul”. Dr Who nervously patted his forehead dry with a handkerchief he kept for just this sort of occasion.
“We’re quite trapped!” Zoe exclaimed.
“Ach, my leg!” Jamie cried, “I think it’s broken.”
“Oh dear,” Dr Who said once again, before suggesting that they all just needed to keep calm and a plan would soon come to him. After a moment he suggested, “Zoe, can you reach around Jamie and help with his sausage?”
Zoe tried but said that it was too large and thick to handle on her own.
“Doctor,” she suggested, “could you work on the one end of Jamie’s sausage while I take care of the other? I think if we do this together, we could give him some release.”
Together the friends tried, alternating their efforts but to no avail. Then Jamie had a thought:
“Would it help if I were to stick me dirk in it?”
Dr Who agreed so Jamie shoved his dirk in again and again as hard as he could while his two friends got his sausage off before they all collapsed together in exhaustion. Then they heard a loud, heavy metallic sound and realized that the male giant was slicing vegetables. Moments later had to dodge as showers of sliced tomatoes and onions landed all around them.
Then they saw the bananas descend. They had been sliced in half and were being laid down on top of the rest of the mixture. The friends were baffled but had no time to figure out what was going on. Dr Who and Jamie dodged the bananas but one landed between them and Zoe. Zoe was cut off from the rest of them! Frantically she tried to climb over the banana, swinging one leg over, but as she tried to climb the banana just seemed to slowly rotate on the mixture beneath her.
Zoe and Jamie were terrified but Dr Who looked thoughtful,
“The economy!” He exclaimed, “By combining sweet and savory in a single dish you surely are getting the best of both worlds.”
He soon was pulled out of his reverie when water (along with pepper, salt and sugar) was poured on top of the mixture, soaking them all and leaving the boys struggling to stay afloat. Quickly they swam over to Zoe’s sausage and joined her, all sitting on the sausage as though it was the back of a horse. They watched as the two giants had a conversation.
“And that, my dear,” the man said, gently rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke, “is that. Just stick it in the oven at Mark 4 for about an hour and you will find you have an adventurous repast that is quite edible.”
The female giant seemed quite impressed and asked why he had come.
“Because,” he said, stroking his chin thoughtfully, “I am compiling a great book of recipes. Some will go uncredited but it is imperative that some be attributed to housewives from across this great land of ours. It may seem strange to you,” he said, lowering his voice as he grabbed her shoulder, “but it will be thanks to the efforts of plain, ordinary folk like yourself that the people of Britain will learn to make the money go round. And you will not go unrewarded!”
The woman’s eyes seemed to light up at this and she asked what her reward would be. Happily the man produced a handful of slips of paper which he waved in front of her.
“Coupons. Money off everyday necessities. Plus the opportunity to win a stylish new kitchen to replace this mess.”
As the female giant danced around the kitchen, imagining how she would spent her bounty, the man turned and picked up Dr Who, Jamie and Zoe in his enormous brown hands. In what was surely a low whisper to him but an enormous shout to them he said:
“I remember being on this very adventure all those years ago and I remember what I said to you. You must go to Lee, London in 1973 to make all this happen. And now it’s time for you three to shoot off together – and remember, that mixture cooks for one hour,” and at that he lifted the bag off the TARDIS and deposited the three wet friends inside.
“That was quite an adventure,” Zoe began, “but we never did get to eat our picnic!”
Dr Who didn’t appear to be listening to his friend at first as his hands flew across the console, working to adjust everyone back to their own size. He told them that he had been on a similar adventure some years before with his friends Ian and Barbara and his biological granddaughter, Susan, and that this was clearly just a rehash of that much more thrilling and dramatic episode in his life.
Then his hands got to work setting a new course, “I don’t think we need to worry about our picnic though.”
He engaged the time rotor and they landed an hour later in the back garden of Mrs. J. Stroud and, having persuaded her to invite them to dinner, they all took care of their inner spaces and felt replete.