Post by Ribs, Suthers' Pal on Jan 2, 2017 17:30:04 GMT
“Hello?”
“Lu Ping, thank heavens I’ve caught you.”
“Doctor, what’s wrong?”
“It’s the Master.”
“Oh no - what’s he done this time?”
“Oh, nothing. I’m just concerned about him. I can’t sleep. What if he turns the Sun off?”
“The sun?”
“Yes, what if he walks into the Sun’s control room, flips the big switch, and turns it out, plunging the Milky Way into armageddon?”
“Doctor, don’t be silly. You know just as well as I do that the Master is probably sitting in a Pachinko Parlor somewhere downtown, unable to sleep just like you.”
“I suppose you’re right. The Earth will survive, it has a funny habit of it. Oh, hold on- I’m getting another call. Stay on the line, would you, Lu Ping?”
“Hello?”
“Ah, Doctor, excellent. I was hoping you’d be up at this hour.”
“Brigadier, it’s well past both my bedtime and yours.”
“I’m actually back on assignment in Geneva right now, I’m afraid. It’s only the early Evening for me.”
“What is it, then?’
“I’ve just uncovered some new information that may shock you.”
“The Master?”
“Yes. He’s just invested in an offshore drilling enterprise in the South China Sea.”
“Diabolical. Hold on, I have Lu Ping on the other line - I’ll patch us all together.”
“Hello?”
“Yes, Doctor?”
“Alright, the Brigadier’s on the line with us now. He’s who called me!”
“Who?”
“The Brigadier.”
“Oh, the Brigadier.”
“Yes.”
“He’s uncovered some new information about the Master.”
“The Master?”
“Yes, the Master. He’s bought another drilling company.”
“Hello, Ms. Primrose.”
“Brigadier!”
“Quiet, we have no time for pleasantries, the world stands on the brink of collapse!”
“You know who you should contact, Doctor?”
“Who’s that, Lu Ping?”
“Sergeant Benton!”
“Ugh, really, Ms. Primrose? Benton? He couldn’t help an old maid across the street.”
“Now, now, Brigadier, we all detest the man, but there’s a line. Now, Lu Ping, why should we get in touch with Sergeant Benton?”
“His uncle owns that same offshore drilling company.’
“You don’t mean to say - it couldn’t be…”
“No, you silly old fool, I mean his uncle used to own it. Until the Master bought it from him.”
“Right. Of course. Well, then, let’s dial Sergeant Benton in.”
“Hello?”
“Hi, Sergeant, it’s me, the Doctor, I’m on the line here with the Brigadier and Lu Ping. We’ve had some rather disturbing news, and we’d like your input.”
“Oh, alright. Just give me a moment to get up, light the candles, y’know.”
“Of course. Candles?”
“I know. So how’s your evening been going?”
“Oh, you know, very quiet until the Doctor called me up. But that’s okay.”
“My dear Doctor, you have been naive!”
“What, who’s that?”
“It is I, the Master! I have invaded your party line!”
“Did you say the Master?”
“Yeah.”
“My god, the Master!”
“Alright, I’m ready now.”
“Sergeant Benton, we’ve had enough of your useless games, you’re being disconnected.”
“What? I don-”
“Thank goodness. You know, archnemesis-to-archnemesis, I’ve never particularly cared for the Sergeant.”
“None of us do. Now, what is your newest scheme?”
“I am going to drill the world’s oil, and then sell it for profit!’
“No, you couldn’t! You’ll drain our precious natural resources dry!”
“There’s nothing you can do to stop me!”
“He’s right, Doctor. We can only hope to perpetuate a worldwide conspiracy, making up that there is a cost to man’s intervention in the natural world that could have a lasting impact on our climate.”
“But that’s nonsense, Ms. Primrose!”
“I know it is. We all know it is. But if we persuade over 99% of all scientists it’s a real and accepted fact, we can stop smart and talented businessmen like the Master from achieving their dreams and creating jobs for working class people!”
“That’s brilliant! I’m off to go back in time to create something silly called the Ozone layer to add to this balderdash!”
“Alright, goodbye Doctor. I think I’ll just go to sleep now. Goodnight, all!”
“So…”
“How have you been doing, Brigadier? Everything all right with Doris at home?”
“I never should have invited you and that harlet the Birnam Witch over for brunch…”
“Oh, ha ha! What good times we had. Anyway, I’ve got to, er, hit the hay, so to speak.”
“Alright, Master. It sounds kind of loud, there. Lots of dinging and chatting, sounds almost like an arcade or something.”
“Ah, funny, that. Ta ta!”
“Be seeing you.”
“Lu Ping, thank heavens I’ve caught you.”
“Doctor, what’s wrong?”
“It’s the Master.”
“Oh no - what’s he done this time?”
“Oh, nothing. I’m just concerned about him. I can’t sleep. What if he turns the Sun off?”
“The sun?”
“Yes, what if he walks into the Sun’s control room, flips the big switch, and turns it out, plunging the Milky Way into armageddon?”
“Doctor, don’t be silly. You know just as well as I do that the Master is probably sitting in a Pachinko Parlor somewhere downtown, unable to sleep just like you.”
“I suppose you’re right. The Earth will survive, it has a funny habit of it. Oh, hold on- I’m getting another call. Stay on the line, would you, Lu Ping?”
“Hello?”
“Ah, Doctor, excellent. I was hoping you’d be up at this hour.”
“Brigadier, it’s well past both my bedtime and yours.”
“I’m actually back on assignment in Geneva right now, I’m afraid. It’s only the early Evening for me.”
“What is it, then?’
“I’ve just uncovered some new information that may shock you.”
“The Master?”
“Yes. He’s just invested in an offshore drilling enterprise in the South China Sea.”
“Diabolical. Hold on, I have Lu Ping on the other line - I’ll patch us all together.”
“Hello?”
“Yes, Doctor?”
“Alright, the Brigadier’s on the line with us now. He’s who called me!”
“Who?”
“The Brigadier.”
“Oh, the Brigadier.”
“Yes.”
“He’s uncovered some new information about the Master.”
“The Master?”
“Yes, the Master. He’s bought another drilling company.”
“Hello, Ms. Primrose.”
“Brigadier!”
“Quiet, we have no time for pleasantries, the world stands on the brink of collapse!”
“You know who you should contact, Doctor?”
“Who’s that, Lu Ping?”
“Sergeant Benton!”
“Ugh, really, Ms. Primrose? Benton? He couldn’t help an old maid across the street.”
“Now, now, Brigadier, we all detest the man, but there’s a line. Now, Lu Ping, why should we get in touch with Sergeant Benton?”
“His uncle owns that same offshore drilling company.’
“You don’t mean to say - it couldn’t be…”
“No, you silly old fool, I mean his uncle used to own it. Until the Master bought it from him.”
“Right. Of course. Well, then, let’s dial Sergeant Benton in.”
“Hello?”
“Hi, Sergeant, it’s me, the Doctor, I’m on the line here with the Brigadier and Lu Ping. We’ve had some rather disturbing news, and we’d like your input.”
“Oh, alright. Just give me a moment to get up, light the candles, y’know.”
“Of course. Candles?”
“I know. So how’s your evening been going?”
“Oh, you know, very quiet until the Doctor called me up. But that’s okay.”
“My dear Doctor, you have been naive!”
“What, who’s that?”
“It is I, the Master! I have invaded your party line!”
“Did you say the Master?”
“Yeah.”
“My god, the Master!”
“Alright, I’m ready now.”
“Sergeant Benton, we’ve had enough of your useless games, you’re being disconnected.”
“What? I don-”
“Thank goodness. You know, archnemesis-to-archnemesis, I’ve never particularly cared for the Sergeant.”
“None of us do. Now, what is your newest scheme?”
“I am going to drill the world’s oil, and then sell it for profit!’
“No, you couldn’t! You’ll drain our precious natural resources dry!”
“There’s nothing you can do to stop me!”
“He’s right, Doctor. We can only hope to perpetuate a worldwide conspiracy, making up that there is a cost to man’s intervention in the natural world that could have a lasting impact on our climate.”
“But that’s nonsense, Ms. Primrose!”
“I know it is. We all know it is. But if we persuade over 99% of all scientists it’s a real and accepted fact, we can stop smart and talented businessmen like the Master from achieving their dreams and creating jobs for working class people!”
“That’s brilliant! I’m off to go back in time to create something silly called the Ozone layer to add to this balderdash!”
“Alright, goodbye Doctor. I think I’ll just go to sleep now. Goodnight, all!”
“So…”
“How have you been doing, Brigadier? Everything all right with Doris at home?”
“I never should have invited you and that harlet the Birnam Witch over for brunch…”
“Oh, ha ha! What good times we had. Anyway, I’ve got to, er, hit the hay, so to speak.”
“Alright, Master. It sounds kind of loud, there. Lots of dinging and chatting, sounds almost like an arcade or something.”
“Ah, funny, that. Ta ta!”
“Be seeing you.”