Doctor Who and the Thick of It (Rated Ooh-Aar)
Jul 28, 2014 18:21:42 GMT
Hellvis Azal Deathley likes this
Post by theretsam on Jul 28, 2014 18:21:42 GMT
It was in the early days of the Peter Capaldi Doctor.
"****, Clara", he said, "where the **** should we go next?"
"The **** do I know," she replied sarcastically.
"Thank **** for your ****ing help, you little ."
"Aw, go to ****."
"Is that what you want? Go to ****? Well dress for ****ing Florida, cos we're going to ****!"
Hell, Norway.
"It's ****ing cold here!"
"Shouldn't hae worn that ****ing minidress then, ya *****!"
"I'm serious! It's ****ing freezing!"
"I am serious! You wanted to go to ****ing ****, so we've gone to ****ing Hell."
Suddenly, the ice started to melt off all the roofs and the temperature rose, leading to many ****s, ******s, and ******-******* *******s from local disgruntled inhabitants.
It fact, it became so hot that everyone had to take off their clothes and Clara stood there in nothing but a bra and that miniskirt I told you about earlier. (The Peter Capaldi Doctor wore a sleeveless shirt and a bermuda.)
Steven Moffat, you're a genius!
"**** it's hot!"
"Thank you for the ****ing notification. I haen't ****ing noticed."
"No, you're hot!" (That was someone else.)
Out of the shadows appeared Jack Harkness, who immediately swaggered towards Clara.
"****, it's Jack "****-******ing" ****ness."
"Are you not happy to see me, Doctor?"
"No, but I can ****ing well tell you are. You look a right ."
"I can show the lady over here a few :)alphawaveif she wants to, nudge nudge wink wink."
Steven Moffat, you're a genius!
Suddenly, a wild Weeping Angel appeared!
But it was distracted by its own sexiness in a mirror, and then it turned to stone!
And then Clara and the Doctor had hate-***!
Steven Moffat, you're a genius!
"Steven Moffat, you're insane!"
"No, I'm just very clever so you can't see it. Did you see how subtle that writing is?"
"No. You need a holiday. A long holiday."
"But who'll run the show? There's nobody in the land capable of doing that!"
"That's not true."
"Surely you didn't believe Gatiss when he said...? Have you seen his episodes?"
And then the Doctor landed in a council estate in London, and there was an average girl in her twenties living with her mum, and she's called Missy, and she's sassy, and she's a bus driver, and she's marvelous, and her mom doesn't like the Doctor, and she doesn't like her daughter getting in danger because she's very protective, and she's got a brother who's gay (but not camp) called Geronimo, and it'll be marvelous, and fantastic, and there's gonna be a sassy bus driver, and we'll bring back Davros, and the Master, and the Doctor is very sad that he thought Gallifrey was lost when it wasn't, and he pities himself for his earlier self-pity, and it's almost like proper drama, and it'll be marvelous, and we'll have the biggest finale ever, and you have to see this, and it'll be marvelous, and it'll be great, and we'll shove a bus into the Mid-Eastern desert, and it'll be marvelous, and it'll look splendid, and we'll include the Queen, and writers, all on this bus, cos the Queen goes on the bus sometimes, and she'll be marvelous, and we'll reference the Krotons, and it'll be marvelous...
"****ity-bye, Krotons!"
"****, Clara", he said, "where the **** should we go next?"
"The **** do I know," she replied sarcastically.
"Thank **** for your ****ing help, you little ."
"Aw, go to ****."
"Is that what you want? Go to ****? Well dress for ****ing Florida, cos we're going to ****!"
Hell, Norway.
"It's ****ing cold here!"
"Shouldn't hae worn that ****ing minidress then, ya *****!"
"I'm serious! It's ****ing freezing!"
"I am serious! You wanted to go to ****ing ****, so we've gone to ****ing Hell."
Suddenly, the ice started to melt off all the roofs and the temperature rose, leading to many ****s, ******s, and ******-******* *******s from local disgruntled inhabitants.
It fact, it became so hot that everyone had to take off their clothes and Clara stood there in nothing but a bra and that miniskirt I told you about earlier. (The Peter Capaldi Doctor wore a sleeveless shirt and a bermuda.)
Steven Moffat, you're a genius!
"**** it's hot!"
"Thank you for the ****ing notification. I haen't ****ing noticed."
"No, you're hot!" (That was someone else.)
Out of the shadows appeared Jack Harkness, who immediately swaggered towards Clara.
"****, it's Jack "****-******ing" ****ness."
"Are you not happy to see me, Doctor?"
"No, but I can ****ing well tell you are. You look a right ."
"I can show the lady over here a few :)alphawaveif she wants to, nudge nudge wink wink."
Steven Moffat, you're a genius!
Suddenly, a wild Weeping Angel appeared!
But it was distracted by its own sexiness in a mirror, and then it turned to stone!
And then Clara and the Doctor had hate-***!
Steven Moffat, you're a genius!
"Steven Moffat, you're insane!"
"No, I'm just very clever so you can't see it. Did you see how subtle that writing is?"
"No. You need a holiday. A long holiday."
"But who'll run the show? There's nobody in the land capable of doing that!"
"That's not true."
"Surely you didn't believe Gatiss when he said...? Have you seen his episodes?"
And then the Doctor landed in a council estate in London, and there was an average girl in her twenties living with her mum, and she's called Missy, and she's sassy, and she's a bus driver, and she's marvelous, and her mom doesn't like the Doctor, and she doesn't like her daughter getting in danger because she's very protective, and she's got a brother who's gay (but not camp) called Geronimo, and it'll be marvelous, and fantastic, and there's gonna be a sassy bus driver, and we'll bring back Davros, and the Master, and the Doctor is very sad that he thought Gallifrey was lost when it wasn't, and he pities himself for his earlier self-pity, and it's almost like proper drama, and it'll be marvelous, and we'll have the biggest finale ever, and you have to see this, and it'll be marvelous, and it'll be great, and we'll shove a bus into the Mid-Eastern desert, and it'll be marvelous, and it'll look splendid, and we'll include the Queen, and writers, all on this bus, cos the Queen goes on the bus sometimes, and she'll be marvelous, and we'll reference the Krotons, and it'll be marvelous...
"****ity-bye, Krotons!"
BOOM
(No episodes have been returned to the BBC so far.) The end.