Post by Draculasaurus on Jul 4, 2013 4:07:33 GMT
You can vote for up to two different poems.
Pertbuck prizes will be awarded to the top three contestants.
First place 250 P$
Second place 200 P$
Third place 150 P$
I will cast the deciding vote in the event of a tie.
Here are the fabulous entries!
By Ribs-
Oh, Ooh-er, ooh-er
Ooh-er, ooh-er, oh, ooh-er
Oh, Ooh-er, ooh-er
By Bumhand-
Pigbin Josh
You're the king of our hearts
Even though you
Smell rather of farts
Unlike Pertwee
You've no ruffled shirt
All your clothes
Are stained with shite and dirt
The dregs of wine
Floating with sediment
Have given you
That speech impediment
What you're saying
We can but speculate
But Pigbin Josh -
We think you are great.
ARR!
By Comradekaled-
You'd think recipe book ****ers would have had enough of Pigbin Josh
But I look around me and see it isn't so
Some recipe book ****ers wanna fill the world with Pigbin Josh
And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know
cause here we go....
AGAIN!!!
OOH......OOH-ER
OOH......OOH-ER
OOH......OOH-ER
OOH......OOH-ER
By Ogronic
"This man's just gotta go," declared his enemies,
But the ladies begged, "don't you try to do it, please!"
No doubt this Pigbin Josh had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night Axons of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us," they kept demanding, and he really came.
Pa-Pa-Pigbin Josh
Lover of the Jon Pertwee
They put some poison into his peas.
Pa-Pa-Pigbin Josh
UNIT's greatest love-machine
He ate them all and said: "Ooh Aar-ease."
Pa-Pa-Pigbin Josh
Lover of the Jon Pertwee
They didn't quit, they wanted Perthead
Pa-Pa-Pigbin Josh
UNIT's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead.
By Garr-
Lean Out of the Window
Lean out of the window,
Pigbin Josh,
I hear you fernagling
A merry air.
My Target novelisation book by Terrance Dicks was closed,
I read no more,
Watching the fire dance
On the floor.
I have left my Target novelisation book by Terrance Dicks,
I have left my room,
For I heard you fernagling
Through the gloom.
Fernagling and Fernagling
A merry air,
Lean out of the window,
Pigbin Josh.
By IHVHAzal-
Where o' where has my Pigbin gone,
O' where, o' where can he be?
Under tarpaulin a' kip on t' beach o' Dungeness?
Or a' rollin dayn the hill in stupour o' drunken-ness?
Betwixt some bins a' rummagin'?
Or beyind pizza hut a' scavengin?
Where o' where has Pigbin gone?
Time ee were 'ome for tea
By Aprilcentauri
Pigbin Josh with dirty charms
You make my heart race with alarm
In rags and muck you fascinate
I beg you please for just one date
You'd show me all your favorite trash
For dinner we could "Dine and Dash"
Away we'd ride upon your bike
Two wheels, not four, is what I like
I'd smile at you quite movingly
You'd grunt at me approvingly
I'd wear my muddy fishnet stockings
By night's end we'd be lip locking
I cannot hide the way I feel
Oh Pigbin Josh, if you were real...
By Suthers-
Pigbin Josh. The world is awash
With folk who like their gravy
But all their peas and beige meat teas
Can't match the level of your brav'ry.
When Axons land while you're half-canned
And send you all a'tumbling
Your broken bike falls in the dyke
But Pigbin, are you grumbling?
Through ice you crash, a nasty rash
Erupting on your swarthy skin
But when you're captured, that day you're Raptured,
Do you complain? No, not our Pigbin.
They drain your brain for reasons that are rather hard to explain
Then dump you in the vicinity.
But Benton and Yates, that pair of ingrates,
(Who look like they've not long lost their virginity)
They come along, a-singing a song
And on your rotten corpse they stumble
When they see what you've done
Tackling the invading Axon scum
Why, it makes them come over all humble.
The hardest men of UNIT, in their smart green tunic
They've tackled Daleks, Cyberchappies and the Bosch
But when historians forage for examples of true courage
They won't find much to match that of Pigbin Josh.
Also by Suthers-
The ravaged days of yesteryear
They permeate my loins.
All I cherished, all so dear
As valueless as coins.
The smoke from chimneys far away
The essence of the spring
Our childhood secrets stowed away
The notes that birds can sing.
Our months lost crossing time and space
We tripped until September
But Pigbin drunk and off his face
That's what I'll most remember.
Pertbuck prizes will be awarded to the top three contestants.
First place 250 P$
Second place 200 P$
Third place 150 P$
I will cast the deciding vote in the event of a tie.
Here are the fabulous entries!
By Ribs-
Oh, Ooh-er, ooh-er
Ooh-er, ooh-er, oh, ooh-er
Oh, Ooh-er, ooh-er
By Bumhand-
Pigbin Josh
You're the king of our hearts
Even though you
Smell rather of farts
Unlike Pertwee
You've no ruffled shirt
All your clothes
Are stained with shite and dirt
The dregs of wine
Floating with sediment
Have given you
That speech impediment
What you're saying
We can but speculate
But Pigbin Josh -
We think you are great.
ARR!
By Comradekaled-
You'd think recipe book ****ers would have had enough of Pigbin Josh
But I look around me and see it isn't so
Some recipe book ****ers wanna fill the world with Pigbin Josh
And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know
cause here we go....
AGAIN!!!
OOH......OOH-ER
OOH......OOH-ER
OOH......OOH-ER
OOH......OOH-ER
By Ogronic
"This man's just gotta go," declared his enemies,
But the ladies begged, "don't you try to do it, please!"
No doubt this Pigbin Josh had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night Axons of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us," they kept demanding, and he really came.
Pa-Pa-Pigbin Josh
Lover of the Jon Pertwee
They put some poison into his peas.
Pa-Pa-Pigbin Josh
UNIT's greatest love-machine
He ate them all and said: "Ooh Aar-ease."
Pa-Pa-Pigbin Josh
Lover of the Jon Pertwee
They didn't quit, they wanted Perthead
Pa-Pa-Pigbin Josh
UNIT's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead.
By Garr-
Lean Out of the Window
Lean out of the window,
Pigbin Josh,
I hear you fernagling
A merry air.
My Target novelisation book by Terrance Dicks was closed,
I read no more,
Watching the fire dance
On the floor.
I have left my Target novelisation book by Terrance Dicks,
I have left my room,
For I heard you fernagling
Through the gloom.
Fernagling and Fernagling
A merry air,
Lean out of the window,
Pigbin Josh.
By IHVHAzal-
Where o' where has my Pigbin gone,
O' where, o' where can he be?
Under tarpaulin a' kip on t' beach o' Dungeness?
Or a' rollin dayn the hill in stupour o' drunken-ness?
Betwixt some bins a' rummagin'?
Or beyind pizza hut a' scavengin?
Where o' where has Pigbin gone?
Time ee were 'ome for tea
By Aprilcentauri
Pigbin Josh with dirty charms
You make my heart race with alarm
In rags and muck you fascinate
I beg you please for just one date
You'd show me all your favorite trash
For dinner we could "Dine and Dash"
Away we'd ride upon your bike
Two wheels, not four, is what I like
I'd smile at you quite movingly
You'd grunt at me approvingly
I'd wear my muddy fishnet stockings
By night's end we'd be lip locking
I cannot hide the way I feel
Oh Pigbin Josh, if you were real...
By Suthers-
Pigbin Josh. The world is awash
With folk who like their gravy
But all their peas and beige meat teas
Can't match the level of your brav'ry.
When Axons land while you're half-canned
And send you all a'tumbling
Your broken bike falls in the dyke
But Pigbin, are you grumbling?
Through ice you crash, a nasty rash
Erupting on your swarthy skin
But when you're captured, that day you're Raptured,
Do you complain? No, not our Pigbin.
They drain your brain for reasons that are rather hard to explain
Then dump you in the vicinity.
But Benton and Yates, that pair of ingrates,
(Who look like they've not long lost their virginity)
They come along, a-singing a song
And on your rotten corpse they stumble
When they see what you've done
Tackling the invading Axon scum
Why, it makes them come over all humble.
The hardest men of UNIT, in their smart green tunic
They've tackled Daleks, Cyberchappies and the Bosch
But when historians forage for examples of true courage
They won't find much to match that of Pigbin Josh.
Also by Suthers-
The ravaged days of yesteryear
They permeate my loins.
All I cherished, all so dear
As valueless as coins.
The smoke from chimneys far away
The essence of the spring
Our childhood secrets stowed away
The notes that birds can sing.
Our months lost crossing time and space
We tripped until September
But Pigbin drunk and off his face
That's what I'll most remember.