Post by Cap Al D on Jul 4, 2013 15:25:07 GMT
Shamelessly stolen from an old GB thread that was in turn shamelessly stealing from an old OG thread:
I propose the brilliant Recipe ****ers turn their BB hands to a complete (or abandoned when boredom sets in) rewrite of the Recipe Book companion series, Doctor Who. Two examples will follow, my own entries in the GB forum. The rules (suggestions!) are as copy pasted from that thread:
THE RULES (by OP Vortis, amended by me)
1) This thread seeks to rewrite the history of Doctor Who on television, but within certain parameters as follows:
(a) The running order of the stories is the same so that An Unearthly Child is still followed by The Daleks, Ark in Space is still followed by The Sontaran Experiment and Closing Time is still followed by The Wedding of River Song.
(b) Only TV shows should be used.
(c)The stories must be vaguely recognizable so that The Web Planet must still be set on the planet Vortis and involve Menoptra and Zarbi, but thereafter anything goes. If it turns out that the Animus is a sweet creature desperate to join the TARDIS and fend of those wretched butterflies so be it!
(d) The eleven Doctors also remain the same so that we have Hartnell, Troughton, Pertwee, Baker, Davison, Baker, McCoy, McGann, Eccleston, Tennant and Smith in that order. AL D NOTE: 'Other' or variant Doctors may appear, of course.
(e) Each of the Doctors joins and leaves in the same stories that they did on television so that Hartnell's first is An Unearthly Childand his last is The Tenth Planet and Davison still starts in Castrovalva and leaves in The Caves of Androzani.
2) The changes that can be made:
(a) I'll assume that we start with original three companions (Ian, Barbara and Susan) but thereafter people can come or go as posters decide.
(b) For any story, one companion can leave and a new one join. So, for example, you can decide that the Doctor left prehistoric Earth without Ian and with the treacherous Kal or with Hur having elected to become the fifth member of the TARDIS crew but you can't get rid of Ian and Barbara or else have both Kal and Za join the crew.
(c) There is no need to take on a new companion each time one leaves or to abandon an old companion each time a new one joins. Hur can join Ian, Barbara and Susan for the next adventure or Ian can remain behind without anyone replacing him.
3)Each poster must respect the contributions of previous posters. If poster A gets to The Daleks first and decides that Ian leaves and Dyoni joins, then poster B can't ignore or reverse that but must run with it. If two posters post conflicting versions of the same story then the first poster wins and it's their account that's followed. If there's a genuine tie with both posting at the same time, then I'll decide as thread starter who wins. AL D NOTE: Not really. We'll just contradict ourselves.
Examples:
The Abominable Snowmen
Episode One
The Doctor and Mollie's disappointment at landing in Wales is lifted when the helpful monks of the nearby Dat Sin monastery and casino inform them they are, in fact, in the Himalayas. Their disappointment at landing in a Himalayan monastery and casino is lifted when they are comped for a room and a run at the tables.
Meanwhile, Booster the one-eyed cybermat has exited the Tardis and scuttled upon a cave in the hills. It is unguarded, as the not-yeti have shirked their duty. But in its depths -- almost two meters from the entrance! -- Booster stumbles upon a strange assemblage of machinery. Chirping with joy at finding a friend, the plucky little 'bot falls under the sway of the Grate Intelligence.
Episode 2
At Dat Sin, the Doctor learns that strange things are underfoot, as large footprints have appeared in the snow outside. It has also been pointed out that his picture is posted in the cashier's cage with the caption: Do not lend sacred bells to this man! He giggles nervously, remembering where he'd last seen the shiny bell and wondering again how Cameca had done that. He assures the monks that the bell is just there in his Tardis, safe and sound and he'll just nip out for it and they can keep Molly for insurance. As the sound of the whooping monks fades in the distance, he scurries through the night. Suddenly, a large hairy figure utterly fails to leap into his path! The Doctor does not tremulously cry, "Oh my stars!" because he is in no way menaced!
Episode 3
Reaching the Tardis, he frowns to see the door ajar. Pleased to be unencumbered by tiresome, strange, irritating and frankly bizarre companions, he dismisses his plan to rescue 'Screeching Mollie' by forging a counterfeit bell in his workshop and opts instead to bugger off. He operates the door switch, cranks the motor and rubs his hand in anticipation of sleeping in every morning and forgoing trousers. But his joy is short-lived.
Booster springs upon the console! A nasal, contentious voice fills the air, "I knew you would return, Doctor!"
"Well of course I'd return! I live here, don't I? Who are you and why are you a one-eyed Cybermat?"
"I..."
"Yes?"
"... am..."
The Doctor rummages for his can of cybermat repellant. "Oh, please go on!"
"... the..."
The Doctor hides the can behind his back and waits impatiently.
"... Grate..."
"Oh, sod this!" The Doctor sprays Booster.
"... Intelligarrghhh!!!"
Waves of psionic energy pour from Booster! The Doctor, with inadvertent accuracy, exclaims, "Oh Great Powers!" as he is flung into the wall. The Tardis rattles and the door opens! A tiny hatch on the console springs open and the essential (and curiously bell-shaped) Unreality Buffer pops out and is snatched from the air, in slo-mo, by Booster. The Cybermat disappears into the night.
The Doctor stands, sighs and trudges after.
Episode 4
In the nick of time the disappointed monks remember their chastity vows and the vaguely frustrated Mollie is led to the chamber of Padmesumahavalottamorathanyouadoo 2nd, the 300 year old master of the monastery. After several frustrating hours demonstrating to the venerable virgin that she is, in fact, not a sissy boy but something called a 'girl', he thinks to inquire about her presence here. Upon hearing she travels with the Doctor, Padmesumahavalottamorathanyouadoo 2nd leaps to his feet, breaking his hip. As she recoils from the awkward situation and cries for help, Booster slips through the cat-flap. Molly smashes him with a decorate spittoon and the Grate Intelligence leaps into the body of Padmesumahavalottamorathanyouadoo 2nd!
"I live!" he cries, breaking his other hip.
The Doctor bursts through the door! Molly screeches! "I knew you'd do that! You are sooo predictable!" says the Grate Intelligence. The Doctor takes one look at the scene, snatches the Unreality Buffer from Booster's flattened corpse and slowly backs away.
Episode 5
(Missing)
TARDIS crew: The Doctor, Mollie Dawson (Victorian Wench), Padmesumahavalottamorathanyouadoo 2nd (on a stretcher), The Grate Intelligence (possessing the Tardis intercom system), 23 chaste monks and absolutely no not-yetis.
The Enemy of the World
Fed up with 3 weeks of the Grate Intelligence and Vaarga arguing about the proper number of sequins on a roundel, the Doctor steers the Tardis for Australia. With Molly distracting the Martian with a passable Liza routine, he installs the Grate intelligence in Vaarga's helmet intercom. Inordinately pleased with himself, he departs the Tardis only to be near-drowned, menaced by a shark and shot by assassins in a hovercraft. Disgusted at the waste of three decent cliffhangers he sneaks away to sulk. After a series of amusing, alarming and sadly unrecorded incidents, he is asked to play recorder in an Aboriginal swing band and does not reappear for several paragraphs. Sorry!
Meanwhile, Vaarga, the Grate Intelligence and Molly are rescued by a passing helicopter piloted by security agent Astrid Furrier. Admiring her sleek coat and daredevil lifestyle, the two are soon enmeshed in her machinations. After hurried apologies they are freed and the blushing Astrid puts her machinations away. Then she explains that she is in the employ of Giles 'Clark' Kent, a mild-mannered former security officer and onomatologist who has enlisted her to investigate Newt, a Mexican scientist who has solved all the world's problems and is loved by everyone. Giles believes that if Newt's rapid ascent to secular sainthood is not arrested the world will soon be inundated by millions of children named, 'Newt', a chilling scenario he cannot endure. Aghast at the horrifying prospect, the three chums stoutly agree to help.
They infiltrate Newt's household, posing as exotic cake decorators. After saving him from a frosting-crazed wallaby, the three are proclaimed by Newt to be his bestest, newest buddies and ordered to accompany him wherever he goes as his personal posse. He reminds them of someone but they are having too much fun to bother. Even the Grate Intelligence mellows out a bit, declaring himself the 'Cool Intelligence'. Their jet set travels include Oslo, Belgrade, Belem, Reno and other exotic locales. But eventually their fun is rudely interrupted by the reemergence of Astrid Furrier, whom they'd quite forgotten. Using a flowchart, puppets and a medley of show tunes from 'Cats', she demonstrates conclusively that their amusing travels with Newt are actually a Trail of Doom. Everywhere they have visited, a head of state has died. They realize that Newt's declarations that he was 'off to snuff the King' and 'off to slay the Chancellor' probably weren't euphemisms for [censored] at all.
Eager to clear up any misunderstandings with their pal, they confront Newt with Astrid's evidence. The insulted Newt takes them prisoner and they are imprisoned on the sidewalk in front of his palace. After being threatened with a close shave and a lemon rub, Astrid confesses everything. The four are taken to Newt's Golden Edifice of Peace, Freedom, Universal Equality and Secret Research.
Meanwhile, the Doctor sadly says goodbye to his band-mates Buugi, Wuugi and Stan, as Giles 'Clark' Kent has unexpectedly earned a speaking role and entered the story. He informs the Doctor that he bears an incredible resemblance to world savior Newt (which, the mildly deflated Doctor muses, explains all the pants), who has captured the Doctor's three friends. The Doctor, who's read prisoner of Zenda, see what Kent's about to suggest and, after a lengthy chase, reluctantly agrees to help.
A series of comic mis-identifications follow. Finally, the final episode arrives and the writers come back from lunch. The Doctor and Newt grapple over Newt's sinister new device, meant to 'cure all diseases', as lava flows through the secret base. Over five extras engage in a thrilling gun battle. Finally, our heroes emerge to great acclaim from Astrid and Kent. The Golden Edifice explodes, and the fragile sensibilities of onomatologists everywhere are spared the indignity of Newt World.
As the four depart in the Tardis, Kent turns to Astrid and says, "Now that that's over, you go kill the rest of the world leaders and I'll get that Earthquake machine tuned up!" They share a jolly laugh.
The TARDIS crew: the second Doctor, Molly a Victorian wench, Vaarga leader of the Camp Warriors and the Cool Intelligence (in his helmet)
I propose the brilliant Recipe ****ers turn their BB hands to a complete (or abandoned when boredom sets in) rewrite of the Recipe Book companion series, Doctor Who. Two examples will follow, my own entries in the GB forum. The rules (suggestions!) are as copy pasted from that thread:
THE RULES (by OP Vortis, amended by me)
1) This thread seeks to rewrite the history of Doctor Who on television, but within certain parameters as follows:
(a) The running order of the stories is the same so that An Unearthly Child is still followed by The Daleks, Ark in Space is still followed by The Sontaran Experiment and Closing Time is still followed by The Wedding of River Song.
(b) Only TV shows should be used.
(c)The stories must be vaguely recognizable so that The Web Planet must still be set on the planet Vortis and involve Menoptra and Zarbi, but thereafter anything goes. If it turns out that the Animus is a sweet creature desperate to join the TARDIS and fend of those wretched butterflies so be it!
(d) The eleven Doctors also remain the same so that we have Hartnell, Troughton, Pertwee, Baker, Davison, Baker, McCoy, McGann, Eccleston, Tennant and Smith in that order. AL D NOTE: 'Other' or variant Doctors may appear, of course.
(e) Each of the Doctors joins and leaves in the same stories that they did on television so that Hartnell's first is An Unearthly Childand his last is The Tenth Planet and Davison still starts in Castrovalva and leaves in The Caves of Androzani.
2) The changes that can be made:
(a) I'll assume that we start with original three companions (Ian, Barbara and Susan) but thereafter people can come or go as posters decide.
(b) For any story, one companion can leave and a new one join. So, for example, you can decide that the Doctor left prehistoric Earth without Ian and with the treacherous Kal or with Hur having elected to become the fifth member of the TARDIS crew but you can't get rid of Ian and Barbara or else have both Kal and Za join the crew.
(c) There is no need to take on a new companion each time one leaves or to abandon an old companion each time a new one joins. Hur can join Ian, Barbara and Susan for the next adventure or Ian can remain behind without anyone replacing him.
3)Each poster must respect the contributions of previous posters. If poster A gets to The Daleks first and decides that Ian leaves and Dyoni joins, then poster B can't ignore or reverse that but must run with it. If two posters post conflicting versions of the same story then the first poster wins and it's their account that's followed. If there's a genuine tie with both posting at the same time, then I'll decide as thread starter who wins. AL D NOTE: Not really. We'll just contradict ourselves.
Examples:
The Abominable Snowmen
Episode One
The Doctor and Mollie's disappointment at landing in Wales is lifted when the helpful monks of the nearby Dat Sin monastery and casino inform them they are, in fact, in the Himalayas. Their disappointment at landing in a Himalayan monastery and casino is lifted when they are comped for a room and a run at the tables.
Meanwhile, Booster the one-eyed cybermat has exited the Tardis and scuttled upon a cave in the hills. It is unguarded, as the not-yeti have shirked their duty. But in its depths -- almost two meters from the entrance! -- Booster stumbles upon a strange assemblage of machinery. Chirping with joy at finding a friend, the plucky little 'bot falls under the sway of the Grate Intelligence.
Episode 2
At Dat Sin, the Doctor learns that strange things are underfoot, as large footprints have appeared in the snow outside. It has also been pointed out that his picture is posted in the cashier's cage with the caption: Do not lend sacred bells to this man! He giggles nervously, remembering where he'd last seen the shiny bell and wondering again how Cameca had done that. He assures the monks that the bell is just there in his Tardis, safe and sound and he'll just nip out for it and they can keep Molly for insurance. As the sound of the whooping monks fades in the distance, he scurries through the night. Suddenly, a large hairy figure utterly fails to leap into his path! The Doctor does not tremulously cry, "Oh my stars!" because he is in no way menaced!
Episode 3
Reaching the Tardis, he frowns to see the door ajar. Pleased to be unencumbered by tiresome, strange, irritating and frankly bizarre companions, he dismisses his plan to rescue 'Screeching Mollie' by forging a counterfeit bell in his workshop and opts instead to bugger off. He operates the door switch, cranks the motor and rubs his hand in anticipation of sleeping in every morning and forgoing trousers. But his joy is short-lived.
Booster springs upon the console! A nasal, contentious voice fills the air, "I knew you would return, Doctor!"
"Well of course I'd return! I live here, don't I? Who are you and why are you a one-eyed Cybermat?"
"I..."
"Yes?"
"... am..."
The Doctor rummages for his can of cybermat repellant. "Oh, please go on!"
"... the..."
The Doctor hides the can behind his back and waits impatiently.
"... Grate..."
"Oh, sod this!" The Doctor sprays Booster.
"... Intelligarrghhh!!!"
Waves of psionic energy pour from Booster! The Doctor, with inadvertent accuracy, exclaims, "Oh Great Powers!" as he is flung into the wall. The Tardis rattles and the door opens! A tiny hatch on the console springs open and the essential (and curiously bell-shaped) Unreality Buffer pops out and is snatched from the air, in slo-mo, by Booster. The Cybermat disappears into the night.
The Doctor stands, sighs and trudges after.
Episode 4
In the nick of time the disappointed monks remember their chastity vows and the vaguely frustrated Mollie is led to the chamber of Padmesumahavalottamorathanyouadoo 2nd, the 300 year old master of the monastery. After several frustrating hours demonstrating to the venerable virgin that she is, in fact, not a sissy boy but something called a 'girl', he thinks to inquire about her presence here. Upon hearing she travels with the Doctor, Padmesumahavalottamorathanyouadoo 2nd leaps to his feet, breaking his hip. As she recoils from the awkward situation and cries for help, Booster slips through the cat-flap. Molly smashes him with a decorate spittoon and the Grate Intelligence leaps into the body of Padmesumahavalottamorathanyouadoo 2nd!
"I live!" he cries, breaking his other hip.
The Doctor bursts through the door! Molly screeches! "I knew you'd do that! You are sooo predictable!" says the Grate Intelligence. The Doctor takes one look at the scene, snatches the Unreality Buffer from Booster's flattened corpse and slowly backs away.
Episode 5
(Missing)
TARDIS crew: The Doctor, Mollie Dawson (Victorian Wench), Padmesumahavalottamorathanyouadoo 2nd (on a stretcher), The Grate Intelligence (possessing the Tardis intercom system), 23 chaste monks and absolutely no not-yetis.
The Enemy of the World
Fed up with 3 weeks of the Grate Intelligence and Vaarga arguing about the proper number of sequins on a roundel, the Doctor steers the Tardis for Australia. With Molly distracting the Martian with a passable Liza routine, he installs the Grate intelligence in Vaarga's helmet intercom. Inordinately pleased with himself, he departs the Tardis only to be near-drowned, menaced by a shark and shot by assassins in a hovercraft. Disgusted at the waste of three decent cliffhangers he sneaks away to sulk. After a series of amusing, alarming and sadly unrecorded incidents, he is asked to play recorder in an Aboriginal swing band and does not reappear for several paragraphs. Sorry!
Meanwhile, Vaarga, the Grate Intelligence and Molly are rescued by a passing helicopter piloted by security agent Astrid Furrier. Admiring her sleek coat and daredevil lifestyle, the two are soon enmeshed in her machinations. After hurried apologies they are freed and the blushing Astrid puts her machinations away. Then she explains that she is in the employ of Giles 'Clark' Kent, a mild-mannered former security officer and onomatologist who has enlisted her to investigate Newt, a Mexican scientist who has solved all the world's problems and is loved by everyone. Giles believes that if Newt's rapid ascent to secular sainthood is not arrested the world will soon be inundated by millions of children named, 'Newt', a chilling scenario he cannot endure. Aghast at the horrifying prospect, the three chums stoutly agree to help.
They infiltrate Newt's household, posing as exotic cake decorators. After saving him from a frosting-crazed wallaby, the three are proclaimed by Newt to be his bestest, newest buddies and ordered to accompany him wherever he goes as his personal posse. He reminds them of someone but they are having too much fun to bother. Even the Grate Intelligence mellows out a bit, declaring himself the 'Cool Intelligence'. Their jet set travels include Oslo, Belgrade, Belem, Reno and other exotic locales. But eventually their fun is rudely interrupted by the reemergence of Astrid Furrier, whom they'd quite forgotten. Using a flowchart, puppets and a medley of show tunes from 'Cats', she demonstrates conclusively that their amusing travels with Newt are actually a Trail of Doom. Everywhere they have visited, a head of state has died. They realize that Newt's declarations that he was 'off to snuff the King' and 'off to slay the Chancellor' probably weren't euphemisms for [censored] at all.
Eager to clear up any misunderstandings with their pal, they confront Newt with Astrid's evidence. The insulted Newt takes them prisoner and they are imprisoned on the sidewalk in front of his palace. After being threatened with a close shave and a lemon rub, Astrid confesses everything. The four are taken to Newt's Golden Edifice of Peace, Freedom, Universal Equality and Secret Research.
Meanwhile, the Doctor sadly says goodbye to his band-mates Buugi, Wuugi and Stan, as Giles 'Clark' Kent has unexpectedly earned a speaking role and entered the story. He informs the Doctor that he bears an incredible resemblance to world savior Newt (which, the mildly deflated Doctor muses, explains all the pants), who has captured the Doctor's three friends. The Doctor, who's read prisoner of Zenda, see what Kent's about to suggest and, after a lengthy chase, reluctantly agrees to help.
A series of comic mis-identifications follow. Finally, the final episode arrives and the writers come back from lunch. The Doctor and Newt grapple over Newt's sinister new device, meant to 'cure all diseases', as lava flows through the secret base. Over five extras engage in a thrilling gun battle. Finally, our heroes emerge to great acclaim from Astrid and Kent. The Golden Edifice explodes, and the fragile sensibilities of onomatologists everywhere are spared the indignity of Newt World.
As the four depart in the Tardis, Kent turns to Astrid and says, "Now that that's over, you go kill the rest of the world leaders and I'll get that Earthquake machine tuned up!" They share a jolly laugh.
The TARDIS crew: the second Doctor, Molly a Victorian wench, Vaarga leader of the Camp Warriors and the Cool Intelligence (in his helmet)