Post by C K Styles on Nov 24, 2014 9:05:33 GMT
The Doctor's head popped out of the TARDIS doors, quickly followed by the rest of his body. Gently, he ventured away from his machine to deduce where exactly they were. Clara followed him out of the TARDIS.
"Yes!" he proclaimed, turning to face his companion. "I've always wanted to come here."
"Where?" It's dark. I can't see where we are," replied Clara.
"You pudding brains never do, do you? We're onboard the Titanic! The night it sinks!!"
DIDDLY DUM DIDDLY DUM DIDDLY DUM
OOOOOOO EEEEEEE OOOOOOO
OOOOOO OOOOOOOO OOOOOOO
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN.......
They Had to Die
by Comrade Kaled
"You really mean it then, this is the Titanic?"
"Yes Clara," said the Doctor in his smooth, slightly Scottish accent. "The Titanic."
"So what do we do then? Save the passengers?"
"No," replied the Doctor. "Can't do that. Fixed point in time."
Clara placed her hands on her hips.
"But don't you see?" he continued. "This is history. This is a unique opportunity. Enjoy it."
"All these people are going to die, and we're gonna do nothing?" she asked.
"Of course not. We're going to have a good time." And with that, the Doctor brushed past Clara and re-entered the TARDIS. He emerged a minute later, holding his camera. "Hopefully I can get some good photos of the iceberg!"
"I think I'm going to be sick," motioned Clara, rushing back into the TARDIS. The Doctor shrugged, and walked towards the bow of the ship. One of the pivotal moments in earth history, and he was now here to experience it.
Clara was lying on her bed, wearing only her underwear. She couldn't believe the Doctor sometimes. She thought of the Doctor's insensitivity as she tugged at a loose strand stemming from her panties. 1500 people were going to die tonight, and he was prepared to do nothing about it. No! She couldn't accept that. She had to do something. She put on her dress, and decided to take action...
The passengers were such nice people, thought the Doctor. Shame that they'd die soon. He reached the bow of the Titanic and took some splendid photos. As he saw the approaching iceberg he was even able to get a selfie with it in the background. Clara would love to see that photo, he thought...
BOOM!!!!!!!! As the history books recorded, the Titanic boomed into the iceberg. Time to go, thought the Doctor. He fought against the tide of panicked travellers. He had to reach his TARDIS. Unfortunately, in their haste, one of the passengers had dropped a banana peel, and it was on this yellow thing that the Doctor tripped up on, banging his head on the railing and falling into unconsciousness...
The Doctor awoke suddenly. The decks were cleared. That was good, he could get back to his TARDIS quickly. He stood up, and realised that the ship was tilting 45' now. Defying gravity, the Doctor slowly made his way back to his Blue Box. He opened the door and stepped back into his normal world.
"Clara, it's ok. I'm fine. Time to get- WHAAA? What are all these people doing here?" He had noticed hundreds of pudding brains in the console room, staring at him.
"I had to save them," she smiled, flashing her shiny white teeth towards the Doctor. The Doctor replied by pushing a lavender button on the console. A giant boxing glove descended from the ceiling and punched Clara on the nose. "OWWW!"
"You idiot," he cried. "It was a fixed point in time. We can't go messing about with things like that. Giant dinosaur-y flying monsters will appear soon to devour the human race. Happy now?"
It was a rhetorical question so Clara didn't answer. She wondered if he'd still be mad if she hadn't put her dress on. She briefly thought about removing it, but decided against it.
For the Doctor, it was time to think fast...
"Walk through those doors, down the corridor, second left, straight, left again, right and through the double doors," instructed the Doctor. He pressed a button on the console. "Follow the flashing lights."
The crowd of Titanicees slowly poured out of the console room. The Doctor watched with a satisfied smile.
"What's going on? Can we save them?"
"Just wait and see..."
The final passenger entered into the vast room as indicated by those flashing lights. The wide doors closed automatically with an ominous thud, like a coffin lid closing for the final time. Inside the room gas pipes emerged from the walls, spilling clouds of noxious sarin gas onto the unsuspecting Titanic travellers. Within three minutes they were all dead.
"Strap yourself in Clara," ordered the Doctor, clipping his own safety harness onto a railing on a wall of the console room. Clara did the same. When it was safe, the TARDIS tilted 90 degrees. A soft rumble filled the air, raising to a sharp crescendo. The source of the noise became obvious, as the first of the cadavers flowed through the console room and out of the doors, dropping into the freezing waters below with a satisfied plop. More and more of the bodies flooded past the time travelling duo. When the deed was over, the TARDIS reoriented itself.
"They had to die Clara. They had to die."
"You have a gas chamber in the TARDIS?" she exclaimed.
The Doctor shuffled uncomfortably. "I went through a Nazi phase," he said, looking at the ground. "I was in my Tennant incarnation. I was stupid then."
"So what now?"
"Let's go for ice-cream!"